It’s Wednesday, so it must be time for weekly writing fun with the Friday Fictioneers. Happy birthday to November-born Fictioneers Lora, Charles, Madison (founder and still participant) and Russell. Many happy returns and copious blessings in the upcoming year. Rochelle, you’re the current hostess-with-the-mostess and Sean thanks for this week’s picture. Read more by clicking on the link at the bottom of the page and have a wonderful Thanksgiving! (Yes, I know it’s not until next week, but it’s never too early for good wishes. And continued prayers for all those still without power and otherwise impacted by Hurricane Sandy. We’re so grateful for all those helping during this whole time!)
Copyright Sean Fallon
Power Source
When the redolence of pumpkin pie filled the house and brightly-hued leaves beautified the yard, Mom brought out the jar. As the spareness of winter approached, she said it reminded her where her power came from.
She somehow remembered what every battery represented: a friend who’d helped when Dad lost his job, the blessings of a thriving garden, each of us. Some were more whimsical—one for the flowers Dad gave her each birthday, one for each memorable trip they’d taken, one for libraries.
There was a bigger jar each year. Mom said the jar reminded her of God.
(If you got this via email, I made a few small changes, changes that came to me while cleaning this morning. I think they make the story better, but I hope you enjoyed it either way.)
I like very much. I think this week is going to be tough one for me, but we shall see. I enjoyed this much
In the spirit of my story, a battery of thanks, Boomie. I’m thankful for getting involved with the Fictioneers. The writing is a never-ending source of pleasure for me, but the people even more so. Blessings on your week and may it go well.
What a very special story about the jar of batteries! That is such a wonderful way to look at life!
If I’d had to guess, I would have guessed you’d like it, Kimberly, but I’m still glad to know you did. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, by the way.
Thank you so much – and you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!
Love your story. It is an interesting prompt. Hum…..
I’m glad you liked it. This story popped into my mind right away, although I thought of some others. This one kept pushing to the forefront of my mind, so I gave in, especially since it’s almost Thanksgiving.
I’m touched.
It’s almost Thanksgiving, Ted, and since I have no idea what next week’s pictures will be and since this idea sprang into my brain like Athena from Zeus’ forehead, I went with it. Thanks for letting me know that it touched you. I really mean that.
Very sweet story.
Thanks. It’s the time of the year for some sweetness!
You did a worthy justice to this photo! What a wonderful surprise and a joy to read!!!!!’
A gift! Thank-you!
Thank you so much. How lovely of you to say so!
Very sweet and timely. I really like the rhythm of that one addition, “one for libraries.” I think her jar is more likely to grow larger every week! The voice here is very matter-of-fact and simple, but tender, and I don’t know if “redolent” sounds like the kind of thing I imagine this voice saying. What do you think? I’ve written mine but queued it up to show on Friday, when I’ll put up a linky for it. 🙂
I think “redolent” gives the perfect feeling of the type of pleasure that brings a smile of contentment to your face as you breathe in deeply and that contrasts with the spareness of the approaching winter. I look forward to your story on Friday. Thanks for your comments. I think rhythm in writing is very important so I’m glad when it’s appreciated.
When the house was redolent of pumpkin pie (what a nice line and opening!!!!)
…and leaves beautified the yard, Mom brought out the jar. As the spareness of winter approached, she said it reminded her where her power came from.(mmm. how nice to think that our power comes from something or somewhere outside of ourselves)
… Mom said the jar reminded her of God. (how nice again).
i had a friend who kept a God box. It had a little slit on the top, and he’s put notes to God in it: thanking God, asking God for help, a prayer for someone else, whatever – it all went in his God box. How nice…
Thanks,
Randy
Randy, I love the God box idea! I’m also chuffed that you like the story. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
That was a novel take on the prompt. I love ‘redolent’. 🙂
I do, too. It’s evocative, don’t you think?
I loved everything about this story, Janet. I’m thankful you’re part of this group.
What a lovely thing to say, Rochelle. I’m delighted you liked the story so much.
I liked your story. Especially the end. Thank you.
Thank you for letting me know, Lori.
Lovely story… 🙂
Thank you, merci, danke schoen, etc.
That’s a very interesting take on the prompt. I like it.
Thanks…for reading, commenting and liking.
[…] Janet won the contest for her character and a post card […]
Lovely. Really, really lovely.
Thanks, Jan.
Very nice story Janet. She sounds like a good mom!
I agree, Tom. Thanks for stopping by.
It sounds as though the kids get it too – a great achievement for any Mom.
Good insight, Anne.
An interesting way to commemorate life’s events, and you told it perfectly. Very nice.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-rising-of-the-moon/
I’ll be doing more reading today, but also getting ready for Thanksgiving vacation. Thanks for reading.
Really lovely, Janet. I love the “spareness of winter” phrase.
Oops, I’d forgotten it was nearly Thanksgiving. Wishing all you US Fictioneers a Happy Thanksgiving next week from this side of the pond.
Thanks on all counts, Joanna. At some point today I plan to do some more reading of stories but it’s going to be a very busy day today, so we’ll see when that happens. Have a lovely weekend!
Thank you – you, too!
Great story.
Interesting to view batteries as part of a person’s and family’s history, something I had not thought about. Strange how many things touch our lives that we miss. Nice job.
A lovely thankful story for a thankful time of year–very nice tribute to your mother, Janet.
My mom didn’t do this, but she might have. She’s a wonderful person.
That was a wonderful story.
Thanks so much, Mari! I’m glad it resonated with you.
Hi Janet,
I can see you’re getting in the spirit of the holiday and batteries are good symbols for past memories, gradually losing their charge but leaving behind a palpable presence. Thanks for reading my Oklahoma rant. You’re right, all states have dumb laws, but I just couldn’t resist taking a poke at my former home state. Happy Thanksgiving! Ron
Same to you, Ron. Have a wonderful holiday.
Nothing wrong with a little change.
Scott
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2012/11/15/friday-fictioneers-3/
Very sweet take….Janet you are looking forward. I like that.
I always do. It’s part of my dual role in the family as planner and resident optimist. 🙂
What a lovely, enchanting story. Well done. I went the humorous route.
There’s room for both…plus horror and sci-fi. 🙂
A wonderful story on the battery jar. Another writer had a similar idea with the many uses and representation of each used battery. Great idea, and yours included the many, unending ways in which we cannot fathom or fill a jar or an ocean of the many ways we are so blessed with God in our lives. Thank you for all the wonderful comments and likes on my blog site and stories. It is so appreciated. It is hard to get to them all so have to select a few each time to read and comment on, and did not want to skip yours this week as you so faithfully read mine. Thanks again.
Joyce, I know how precious time is, so any you or any other readers give is always appreciated and enjoyed.
Very satisfying. Love the metaphor.
Thanks and thanks for letting me know. Feedback is good. 🙂
Great metaphor, Janet. Indeed, electricity almost seems as powerful as God. Where would we be without it? We would be an incredibly different society. I do like my electricity. Well done!
When something like Sandy comes along, we see how God and electricity actually compare!! 🙂 And we learn to appreciate both a lot more.
Great job. Such power.
I Shirley thank you. 🙂
look at this first sentence:
“When the house was redolent of pumpkin pie and leaves beautified the yard…”
in the first part, the house is having something done to it by the pie. but in the second part, the leaved are doing something to the yard. first part, passive, second part, active. if you can cut out passive and have more active, you’ll save words and also have a better sounding voice.
wheeee! you’ve got homework.
Hmmmm. How about “When the house grew redolent of pumpkin pie”? Doesn’t save words but changes the voice. Thanks. Do I pass? If I get an “A”, I’ll change the story later. I’ll be driving about 9 1/2 hours today as Bill and I are headed to the Jersey Shore (a part still intact, thankfully) for a bit of Thanksgiving vacation. Since he got home about 2:30 am, I think he’ll be sleeping most of the way. Thanks for the constructive criticism, by the way, although I can’t think of too many other choices where I can still use “redolent” and although it supposedly can be an adverb, I’ve never heard it used that way.
me neither on redolent. as long as there’s a parallel between both descriptions. “the house grew redolent and the yard was painted with orange, yellow, and red leaves.” that’s not great, but it’s parallel.
. i go for constructive criticism because i get tired of “great job” “well done” and all that. i try to show people that i really read and am looking to help. which shore town? i’m close to AC.
Cape May. If you’re close, perhaps you, Bill and I should try to meet.
aww that’s great but i’m actually heading over to vineland for the day, then up towards philly where i live when i’m not at the shore. say hi to the lobster shack for me and we should certainly meet another time. my daughter was in cape may last week filming a pilot show for a show about zombies. she was a zombie in a prom dress attacking someone.
More zombies!!! Our young daughter is in her first year at PAFA, so I’ve been in Philly a few times recently and will be again.
cool. my kid is a freshman about 10 miles east of philly in south jersey. gloucester county. pitman, to be specific. another kid is up at boston university.
I got it!! Read, let me know what you think and thanks for the small smack upside my writing head. 🙂
yep. you got it. now, one more thing. instead of just “leaves,” how about “red and gold leaves”? that means cutting three more words. here’s where you can do that: “one for each of the memorable trips they’d taken…” instead, you can consider “one for each memorable trip taken.”
Updated. :-). Chilly and cloud in Cape May today but we had a wonderful walk through the birding area and then on the beach. Thanks again for taking the time to help me improve this piece. Don’t forget to send me your story one of these days.
Dear Janet,
A lovely story and a perfect illustration of the sublime joy of being human on this whirling planet in space. I’m glad you’re on board with us (or I with you:)
Aloha,
Doug
Thanks, Doug, for your comments and for the compliment. I love being part of the Fictioneers. I look forward to it each week.
I liked it. It was thoughtful and gracious.
Thanks, Susan, and thanks for stopping by. I always enjoy her paint what people think.
I love your attitude of gratitude. If we counted all our blessings, we would indeed need a bigger jar each year. What a wonderful and timely reminder. Great job, Janet.
Thanks, Russ. You have a great opportunity to be extra thankful this week, so enjoy!
Wow, what a unique direction to go. Loved it.
Thank you, Susan
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