I love Friday Fictioneers, but sometimes it seems that it was just Friday (or Wednesday) only a few days ago. Or is it just me? If that’s the worst problem I ever have, I’ll be very fortunate!! Rochelle, merci beaucoup for hosting and thanks to Rich for the picture. Happy birthday to Ted, Kent, Mary, my mom (born on Pearl Harbor day), and any other December birthday folks! (Rochelle, if you’re amassing birthdays, Bill’s and mine are both in March.) 🙂
My first thought was someone at the end of life thinking of all the choices made, one inside each door. However, something ran amok inside my head and what emerged was a riff on that idea. Or maybe just riff-raff. Who can say?
The Big Cheese
Or
The Gjetost of Christmas Past
His mind wandered. So many choices throughout his life. Not all perfect, but he was satisfied. Head of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, Attorneys-at-Law, (plural intentional but deceptive—no other power here), people averted their gazes when he passed, feared him. Life was good!
A knock.
“Enter.”
“A Mr. Gjetost to see you.” Fat Tim, AKA“Tiny”, handed him a card, departing silently but for his limp.
What the dickens? This guy’s a Norwegian cheese? Ebenezeer scrutinized the card. Mr. G. H. Ost. Tim and names! Wonder what this guy wants?
“Mr. Ost, how may I help you?”
“Au contraire, Mr. Skruge…”
This, that and the other thing 
This had me chuckling… Nicely done. I am a march baby too 🙂
Hurrah for March!! I’m the Ides of March so as Shakespeare said, “Beware!” Or possibly, “Be where??” Glad you liked the story.
Love it!!
I’m glad, Len. I was badly bitten by the humor bug but hopefully I didn’t do badly by it.
nicely done – and so quickly too! 🙂
Rochelle posts the picture even before I’m up, so I look as soon as I get out of bed. Since I’ve been cooking,sorting, etc. all day, my brain’s had time to figure out a story and besides, I’m just early for things!
all power to you!
🙂
Dear Janet,
You are sharp as well as fast. This one made me laugh. Very well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
P.S. Thanks to Madison I know how to put the page on auto pilot so on mornings like this when my internet was down, the page went live without me.
I always have my post go live at 2 am EST, when I’m hopefully sleeping soundly. But that time seems to work well. I appreciate you getting the picture up right away so that I can begin the mulling process. Glad you enjoyed the post. As I said, that’s just where it went without my volition. The tyranny of the muse. 🙂
Wow… this is definitely a new direction pour vous. Au contraire, in-deedy.
Very nice, madam Sustainabilitea.
You have definitely cut the Gjeostest with the mostest – nothing cheesy here.
Merci beaucoup, monsieur (or whatever that would be in Norwegian; maybe “Yay, toast?) Or, as they say, “Up, up, and a whey.” 🙂
Do you really eat Gjetost? Is it Norwegian? Am I to assume that you are, too (not Gjetost, but you are Norwegian)?
No, I’m not Norwegian, (pretty much straight German on both sides), but yes, you eat Gjetost and I have eaten it. Haven’t had it for years but I first enjoyed it while in Norway in the 70’s when I was fortunate enough to spend almost a year backpacking and working in Europe. Here’s a little about gjetost: http://www.nytimes.com/2004/01/07/dining/a-toast-for-a-humble-norwegian-cheese.html.
Thanks for the article. I am a cheese lover so i will see if i can buy some down here.
LOL, well done. I was so caught up I didn’t even notice punctuation etc. Well done.
Excellent! I’m glad it worked so well. It was fun doing it (over and over and over.) 🙂
Dear Janet,
This departure of sorts was wonderful. Sort of like Santa taking the subway for a few block. Your riff was very successful and kept me riveted to the page. Hat’s off to you and your muse.
Aloha,
Doug
My muse and I thank you for stopping by and for the kind words. As for the subway, I’m sure that’s happened in NYC at least once. 🙂
Ha! Good!! Christmas with a bite! This one has the feel of a live performance about it – really you caught the right moment there. You layered so well I didn’t actually catch on till after the end! Very good piece.
If I had you until the end, I succeeded! Glad you stopped by to enjoy.
Nice.
Should that be : Wonder what this guy wants? (if Ebeneezer is still thinking)?
Hmmmm. I revisited the post, tried it both ways, think they both work but decided your suggestion might be work slightly better. Thanks! 🙂
The more I think about it, the right-er you are. 🙂 Thanks for that attention to detail.
Very clever, very imaginative. Well done.
Thank you, Sandra. How’s the cruising going?
Very clever. I’ve heard of that cheese. Inspired cheese writing…
But not too cheesy, I hope. 🙂 And totally fat-free.
What the dickens? Great line! Very very clever Janet and tickled my funny bone.
Good, Anne, it was meant to tickle in a big way! I almost published it without that line which popped into my head just in time. One of those how-could-I-have-not-thought-of-that moments. 🙂
Nicely tickled all about. Well done.
Thanks very much. I’m glad it tickled your fancy. ‘Tis the season of joy and laughter after all.
Very clever–I must admit the Gjetost was lost on me and Tim, nicknamed Tiny, with the limp (no less) slipped right by my eyes as well, but I did perk up with Mr. G. H. Ost. Fun post!
🙂 Glad I finally pulled you in at the end.
What the Dickens?….Clever as ever.
Tom
Now I’m waiting for the Shakespeare prompt–“To Brie or not to Brie, that is the question.” 🙂
Thanks, Tom.
wow…you can even out-clever yourself.
You Muenster you!
A spinoff of a Christmas Carol, nicely done.
Thanks, Heidi. Glad you enjoyed it.
HI Janet,
You worked in a lot of references in a short space, everything from Car Talk to A Christmas Carol to hard boiled fiction. Very fun take on the photo! Ron
Glad you caught the Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, although I’ve heard that other places, too. I’ve always love that. Thanks for stopping by!
well done parody. that takes patience – which i don’t have.
i mean takes patience to write that. not read it. reading is the easy part.
I knew what you meant. 🙂
I made the mistake of wanting to develop more patience and God obliged by putting me in a lot of situations which provided that practice. 🙂 Here I started with something very different when this shoved its way into my head. It took a bit of tweaking but then do many of my pieces. Glad you like it.
more glad you wrote it. ever see the version of “a christmas carol” with bill murray? can’t remember the name, but it was fun.
I haven’t but I’m sure it’s hilarious.
“scrooged.” that’s it.
Very apropos, don’t you think?
completely
Wow! This is very clever.
G H Ost! haha!
I love your rake on the prompt!
Thanks much! I’ve always pleased when my writing hits a responsive chord in the reader(s) and it’s great to hear that it does.
oops, I mean your take* on the prompt
I knew what you meant. 🙂
A good rake on a prompt is good too. 😉
Very clever and amusing, Janet. I can see you are enjoying the Christmas season!
Stay blessed,
Jan
Thanks, Jan, for reading and commenting. I am enjoying the Christmas season despite having painters in the house for the entire week (and next week as well.) No decorations, though, which I very much miss. We’ll be decorating like mad when we get to Bill’s but by then it will be less than a week until Christmas.
I know decorations don’t make Christmas, but they are certainly fun.
Funny, Janet. You’re so clever and imaginative.
Awwww, Bumble, nice of you to say so. I’m very glad it made you smile.
Nice~ I caught on at “What the dickens?”. Definitely my kind of humor. 🙂
🙂
My favourite was ‘Tiny’ Tim! Well done, Janet.
Thanks, Pete.
Nice homage to Dickens and the season! Would love to see how this plays out.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-purge/
Smiling, i enjoy your creativity.
I’m glad. It was fun to do, so it’s good to know it gave pleasure to more than one reader!
🙂
Very funny. Being a Swede, extra funny. Cheese
I thought you’d get the cheese reference. 🙂 Happy you enjoyed it (the story, for course, but maybe the cheese, too.)
I love it when you make me laugh! You slipped so smoothly into the familiar(ish) story – I really didn’t see it coming! (And we’re almost at the end of Dickens’ 200th year – nice tribute.)
Thanks very, very much, Sharon. I enjoy having you as a reader and love that you comment frequently. Hoping a meeting is in the near future!
Ha Ha. This is the first time I read yours. I can’t believe we both had a similar idea of using E. Scrooge in our story, but with a different plot or twist. Good story, like always.
I deliberately didn’t say anything when I read yours so you could read might without prior knowledge. Glad you enjoyed it. Good old Scrooge. He’s a classic.
Sure is. One of my favorites. Its the message that delivers a punch.
Great take on my favorite Christmas story. 🙂
I happy to have given your day some enjoyment, Jackie!! Thanks for reading, liking and commenting. Hope your pre-Christmas time is going well.
I loved the name of the law firm. This was a real hoot to read, Janet. We have a taste-tester at one of our plants named “Tiny” who weighs in at between 350 and 400 lbs.
The “Tiny” moniker for people who aren’t tends to be not that unusual. Dewey, Cheatum and Howe has always been fun (especially appropriate for a law firm) and popularized by “Car Talk.” But I had a lot of fun writing this so I’m glad you had fun reading it. Have a great weekend!
Excellent. I didn’t see it coming. I love a good surprise. You had me there. Wonder take on a classic.
Thanks, Debra. A surprise is good and a good surprise is even “good-er.” 🙂
I like it. Very clever!
Thanks.
yuk, yuk… clever girl
🙂 Much appreciated, Ted.
Ah, a fun take on it. Mine will be out tomorrow as I simply forgot – as you said, “Friday, already?”
Scott
Good. I’ll try to remember to stop by. If you don’t hear from me, drop me a reminder.
will try to do that!
I love the way you were able to sort of weave all this together. Are you a word braid-master? Couldn’t help but chuckle at the “Tim and names”…made me go back and re-read the name 3 or four times out loud and in different mannerisms.
I hope so, since it sounds like a good thing for a writer to be. 🙂 Thanks for the compliment and for reading initially. Friday Fictioneers is a lot of fun, isn’t it? I look forward to it every week and spend too much time reading all the other stories. Great practice and fun, though.
Clever….Clever. Goodness…it took me forever to scroll and read all your comments. Popular story this week. Never heard of that cheese. I love cheese…is it sold here in the States?
Lora, thanks for stopping by. The comments section is long partly due to my replies, but I like to reply if possible. As for Gjetost (and any of its alternative spellings), it is sold in the US, I just don’t know where. Check at your local cheese source and if they don’t have it, you might ask them if they know anywhere that it’s carried or if they can carry it. Let me know what you think if you find it and try it.
A wry smile from me at the end!! And I nearly burst out laughing when you wrote about Tiny leaving silently, except for hearing his limp! maybe I just have a whacked sense of humour 😉 I liked it! 🙂
Hey, it was meant to be funny so you made me happy by letting me know I succeeded and improved your day as well.