I love Friday Fictioneers, but sometimes it seems that it was just Friday (or Wednesday) only a few days ago.   Or is it just me?  If that’s the worst problem I ever have, I’ll be very fortunate!!  Rochelle, merci beaucoup for hosting and thanks to Rich for the picture.  Happy birthday to Ted, Kent, Mary, my mom (born on Pearl Harbor day), and any other December birthday folks!  (Rochelle, if you’re amassing birthdays, Bill’s and mine are both in March.)  🙂

My first thought was someone at the end of life thinking of all the choices made, one inside each door.  However, something ran amok inside my head and what emerged was a riff on that idea.  Or maybe just riff-raff.  Who can say?

100_7262-1 copyright Rich Voza

The Big Cheese
Or
The Gjetost of Christmas Past

His mind wandered.  So many choices throughout his life.  Not all perfect, but he was satisfied.  Head of Dewey, Cheatum and Howe, Attorneys-at-Law, (plural intentional but deceptive—no other power here), people averted their gazes when he passed, feared him.  Life was good!

A knock.

“Enter.”

“A Mr. Gjetost to see you.”  Fat Tim, AKA“Tiny”, handed him a card, departing silently but for his limp.

What the dickens?  This guy’s a Norwegian cheese?  Ebenezeer scrutinized the card.  Mr. G. H. Ost.  Tim and names!  Wonder what this guy wants?

“Mr. Ost, how may I help you?”

“Au contraire, Mr. Skruge…”



Comments
  1. boomiebol says:

    This had me chuckling… Nicely done. I am a march baby too 🙂

  2. N Filbert says:

    nicely done – and so quickly too! 🙂

  3. Dear Janet,
    You are sharp as well as fast. This one made me laugh. Very well done.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle
    P.S. Thanks to Madison I know how to put the page on auto pilot so on mornings like this when my internet was down, the page went live without me.

    • I always have my post go live at 2 am EST, when I’m hopefully sleeping soundly. But that time seems to work well. I appreciate you getting the picture up right away so that I can begin the mulling process. Glad you enjoyed the post. As I said, that’s just where it went without my volition. The tyranny of the muse. 🙂

  4. Wow… this is definitely a new direction pour vous. Au contraire, in-deedy.
    Very nice, madam Sustainabilitea.
    You have definitely cut the Gjeostest with the mostest – nothing cheesy here.

  5. LOL, well done. I was so caught up I didn’t even notice punctuation etc. Well done.

  6. Dear Janet,

    This departure of sorts was wonderful. Sort of like Santa taking the subway for a few block. Your riff was very successful and kept me riveted to the page. Hat’s off to you and your muse.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  7. yerpirate says:

    Ha! Good!! Christmas with a bite! This one has the feel of a live performance about it – really you caught the right moment there. You layered so well I didn’t actually catch on till after the end! Very good piece.

  8. Abraham says:

    Nice.

    Should that be : Wonder what this guy wants? (if Ebeneezer is still thinking)?

  9. Sandra says:

    Very clever, very imaginative. Well done.

  10. claireful says:

    Very clever. I’ve heard of that cheese. Inspired cheese writing…

  11. Anne Orchard says:

    What the dickens? Great line! Very very clever Janet and tickled my funny bone.

    • Good, Anne, it was meant to tickle in a big way! I almost published it without that line which popped into my head just in time. One of those how-could-I-have-not-thought-of-that moments. 🙂

  12. JKBradley says:

    Nicely tickled all about. Well done.

  13. vb holmes says:

    Very clever–I must admit the Gjetost was lost on me and Tim, nicknamed Tiny, with the limp (no less) slipped right by my eyes as well, but I did perk up with Mr. G. H. Ost. Fun post!

  14. Tom Poet says:

    What the Dickens?….Clever as ever.

    Tom

  15. Heidi says:

    A spinoff of a Christmas Carol, nicely done.

  16. HI Janet,
    You worked in a lot of references in a short space, everything from Car Talk to A Christmas Carol to hard boiled fiction. Very fun take on the photo! Ron

  17. rich says:

    well done parody. that takes patience – which i don’t have.

  18. Parul says:

    Wow! This is very clever.
    G H Ost! haha!
    I love your rake on the prompt!

  19. Parul says:

    oops, I mean your take* on the prompt

  20. Jan Brown says:

    Very clever and amusing, Janet. I can see you are enjoying the Christmas season!

    Stay blessed,
    Jan

    • Thanks, Jan, for reading and commenting. I am enjoying the Christmas season despite having painters in the house for the entire week (and next week as well.) No decorations, though, which I very much miss. We’ll be decorating like mad when we get to Bill’s but by then it will be less than a week until Christmas. :-/ I know decorations don’t make Christmas, but they are certainly fun.

  21. Funny, Janet. You’re so clever and imaginative.

  22. Nice~ I caught on at “What the dickens?”. Definitely my kind of humor. 🙂

  23. Pete says:

    My favourite was ‘Tiny’ Tim! Well done, Janet.

  24. unspywriter says:

    Nice homage to Dickens and the season! Would love to see how this plays out.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-purge/

  25. Smiling, i enjoy your creativity.

  26. brudberg says:

    Very funny. Being a Swede, extra funny. Cheese

  27. I love it when you make me laugh! You slipped so smoothly into the familiar(ish) story – I really didn’t see it coming! (And we’re almost at the end of Dickens’ 200th year – nice tribute.)

  28. Joyce says:

    Ha Ha. This is the first time I read yours. I can’t believe we both had a similar idea of using E. Scrooge in our story, but with a different plot or twist. Good story, like always.

  29. JackieP says:

    Great take on my favorite Christmas story. 🙂

  30. Russell says:

    I loved the name of the law firm. This was a real hoot to read, Janet. We have a taste-tester at one of our plants named “Tiny” who weighs in at between 350 and 400 lbs.

    • The “Tiny” moniker for people who aren’t tends to be not that unusual. Dewey, Cheatum and Howe has always been fun (especially appropriate for a law firm) and popularized by “Car Talk.” But I had a lot of fun writing this so I’m glad you had fun reading it. Have a great weekend!

  31. Debra Kristi says:

    Excellent. I didn’t see it coming. I love a good surprise. You had me there. Wonder take on a classic.

  32. H.L. Pauff says:

    I like it. Very clever!

  33. tedstrutz says:

    yuk, yuk… clever girl

  34. Ah, a fun take on it. Mine will be out tomorrow as I simply forgot – as you said, “Friday, already?”
    Scott

  35. tonyoleson says:

    I love the way you were able to sort of weave all this together. Are you a word braid-master? Couldn’t help but chuckle at the “Tim and names”…made me go back and re-read the name 3 or four times out loud and in different mannerisms.

    • I hope so, since it sounds like a good thing for a writer to be. 🙂 Thanks for the compliment and for reading initially. Friday Fictioneers is a lot of fun, isn’t it? I look forward to it every week and spend too much time reading all the other stories. Great practice and fun, though.

  36. Clever….Clever. Goodness…it took me forever to scroll and read all your comments. Popular story this week. Never heard of that cheese. I love cheese…is it sold here in the States?

    • Lora, thanks for stopping by. The comments section is long partly due to my replies, but I like to reply if possible. As for Gjetost (and any of its alternative spellings), it is sold in the US, I just don’t know where. Check at your local cheese source and if they don’t have it, you might ask them if they know anywhere that it’s carried or if they can carry it. Let me know what you think if you find it and try it.

  37. A wry smile from me at the end!! And I nearly burst out laughing when you wrote about Tiny leaving silently, except for hearing his limp! maybe I just have a whacked sense of humour 😉 I liked it! 🙂

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