What do I spy with my grammar nazi eye? Well, during the last month, I came across four gems to share with you.
The first one was painted in large letter on a truck I saw on one of my drives to the Chicago area. It said:
“Thing’s to move.”
I’m sure they meant to say “Things to move” because they would never say “Thing is to move”, which is what their sign said. I feel quite pleased that I neither drove off the road nor rammed the truck out of grammar frustration.
The second attack on my grammar senses occurred on Facebook. One of our up-and-coming young chefs in the Cleveland area was evidently serving something on the menu that I wouldn’t expect (or like) to find there: human flesh. I know, I know, that sounds extreme, but that’s what the caption said:
“…serving up guests at The Silver Spoon Awards!”
I imagine the guests would prefer that food be served up to them or that they would be served food, but what do I know?
The third example was uttered when a goal was almost scored during the weekend Stanley Cup playoff game between the Chicago Blackhawks and the Detroit Red Wings. (I admit here to being a big hockey fan.) The puck almost made it into the net but was trapped between the skate of the Detroit goalie, Jimmy Howard, and the metal post of the goal. However, the announcer mixed up the order of the sentence to give it an entirely different, and bizarre, meaning. He said the puck was trapped:
“Between the skate and the post of Jimmy Howard.”
The fourth and final example is probably my favorite simply because it was made by the person posting one of those grammar poster on Facebook. If it had been made anywhere else, it wouldn’t have been nearly as funny, dreadful, or ironic (although it would still have been grammatically incorrect). The sentence prefacing the poster began:
“I’ll be laying around and reading…”
You may lay something down (as in “I’ll lay this book down and then I’ll go with you”) or you might even lay about with a sword if fighting off a number of people and swinging the sword around and around. But if you want to read in either a prone or supine position, you lie down and read.
That’s all I’m serving up for this round of grammar nazi examples. I hope you have no things to move today, but I do hope you have time for lying around and reading or maybe lying around watching a hockey game. I’m not lying!
This, that and the other thing 
🙂 scared to comment LOL!
🙂 I would never trash anyone commenting!
janet
😉 kidding.
I know.
Ahhhhhh…she said as she wiped her brow…love your blog…but I must say grammEr police worry me a bit :-), I’ve lived so many years outside of an Anglophonic country that I speak and write mixed English…the American’s get upset about this…the British about that, I’m not sure what the Australians, New Zealander, South Africans or the Canadians think. English is such a lovely language, so versatile.
That makes 2 of us.
I had to read over this before posting and I’m sure I’ll be missing something. But that’s how I roll lol
I’m really not trying to make anyone paranoid!! And typos happen, too. So don’t worry, just comment. 🙂
janet
🙂 well it’s nice to know whom you’re speaking (writing in this case) to…so you can sort of camouflage a bit…but you must admit these were absolute prescious!
I must look for my old Wren’s Grammar 🙂
I dont care bout gramma. Or speling. It dont annoi me Hehe just kidding. People who place an apostrophe for plural should go back to school.
Sometimes I feel like doing the same thing but I do realize I probably make some mistakes myself.
I hope I don’t give the impression that I never make any mistakes but some of the thing I include because they’re funny and some just because they drive me nuts. I’ve just always noticed these things.
janet
Dear Janet,
I have to add my own favorite. My husband has little sayings on stickers all over his motorcycle helmet. The one that stares me in the face every time I ride with him reads, “Somewhere you’re depriving a village of it’s idiot.” Need I say more?
shalom,
Rochelle
That’s irony for you!
I thought I’d serve you up, and serve you write, or right, with these:
I’d be lying if if told you I was laying down and reading. But at least the puck was not between the skirt and the post of Jimmy Howard, because then I would suggest that the thing’s to move as quickly away from Jimmy’s shimmy.
Heave yourself a well day.
Randy
Randy, ewe all ways Brighton my dei.
janet
At PP&P our Assistant Editor, Christy, is the original Grammar Nazi. I am sending this to her immediately. When her blood stops boiling she’ll enjoy this post. 🙂
I know how she feels. I have other sightings on my blog but haven’t made a category for them. I think I should remedy that. I hope she enjoys reading them as much as I enjoyed finding them.
janet
Oh, Janet, I think you’re being a little too hard on the Facebook poster! It’s all perfectly clear – she’s one of our Internet chicken sisters, and she needs to produce a few eggs while reading. (Though “around” is a little strange in this context – maybe she’s going to roam around the house, book in wing, and lay eggs here and there as she goes.)
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, Sharon. 🙂
janet
Thanks for this post – I will think twice before I use some “thing’s” like this :o)
Heehee! Glad to be of help. Kind of along the same lines as one I did not long ago: https://sustainabilitea.wordpress.com/2013/04/24/its-or-its-its-easy/.
In your case, it’s EASY. 🙂
janet
Well said.
Nice to “see” you, Catherine. Glad you liked it.
janet
I can be a bit of a grammar Nazi myself, but I’m not above making careless/stupid mistakes either! Ah, this is such great stuff… Always better when it’s not my own writing being torn apart, at least. 😉
I know what you mean. And we all make mistakes. Glad you stopped by.
janet
Oh, that’s pretty bad. English is a difficult language, and even more difficult for some, especially the native speakers. 😉
English can be difficult, even for native speakers. I always say that people who speak English as a second language speak it much better than I speak (or don’t speak) their language. That being said, some of the mistakes are hilarious, while I’m sure that my small forays into a bit of German or French are probably horrifying. 🙂
janet
English is my 2nd language (French is my first) and I’ve been told many times I spoke better English that most people I worked with. I have a master’s in linguistics, so I’m sure it helps, but it’s hard to believe someone who’s been raised around English since the day they were born can’t master it by the time they reach adulthood.
I think it’s often true that no one butchers a language like a native speaker. Those who speak second language learn it correctly and try to speak it that way.