Friday Fictioneers–Phantasmagoria

Posted: June 25, 2013 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , ,

My apologies for my super-sensitive new laptop publishing my story a day early just because my cursor went over it.  Because of what my schedule with the house looked liked (which has now changed), I’d begged the prompt from Rochelle early.  Now I’ve wasted her gracious gesture.  Sorry, Rochelle, and all.

……………………………..

The weekly gathering of the Fictioneers has commenced.  Bring out the halt, the lame, the blind, the murderers and aliens, vampires and vamps. Look carefully and you might see a human or two.  Take them all, stir thoroughly, add a dollop of disbelief, a soupçon of silliness. Dip a spoon into the resulting slumgullion:  each recipe meticulously prepared, marvelously rendered, tasty to the tongue.  Your personal recipe is solicited or feel free to simply feast and go away replete; perhaps not always uplifted, but with your brain stimulated.

fleeting-copyright-Indira MukherjeeThanks to Indira for this week’s photo.

Phantasmagoria

Something hovered at the edges of his mind but he couldn’t focus on it. It floated just out of view, at the edge of consciousness. Heavy limbs wouldn’t respond as he struggled vainly to free himself.    Was he drugged?   Where was he?

Brilliant colors and garbled sounds pulsed through his aching head.  His mind vainly tried to make sense of them.

He moaned.  Attempted speech.

Heard someone calling his name. Tried to respond.

Dear God, what was happening?  Why couldn’t he move?

Crying out, he lurched up, tangled in his damp sheets, accidentally head-butting his wife bent over shaking him.

Comments
  1. paulmclem says:

    My time machine seems to have malfunctioned. How did you get the prompt a day early?

  2. Alastair says:

    Love this. Where did this image come from? Is this a preview of tomorrows?

    • Unfortunately, yes. I explained in an updated version. I could kick myself…or my laptop, which is so much more sensitive than my old one and the cursor just moved past “Publish” and did it. I’m mortified!

      janet

  3. lepirategunn says:

    Janet, the comments are half the fun, sorry! Looked clear to me, but the episode had me chuckling, then comments were a bonus! As for the man, well, he’s going to get a frying pan on his head for that, surely!

    • Comments are lots of fun, aren’t they, Managua. Glad you enjoyed the story. I thought a positive twist to a negative story might be a change and I’m happy it worked. May not have much time to read today, but I look forward to it later.

      janet

  4. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

    The blur of the picture certainly gives it a dream-like, nightmarish quality, which you captured excellently, darling.

  5. what a dream there! A captivating introduction there about the activities of the fictioneers.

  6. Boy, am I relieved! Of course, a nightmare isn’t so much fun either ….

  7. Your story was like a dream.
    No, your story was a dream.
    No, I mean, you are some dreamer.
    Make that, that was dreamy.
    Ooh, umm, dream on…

  8. summerstommy says:

    Great story Janet. The ending made me laugh, which at 12.40am is not always achievable.

  9. Janet your character woke up from a dream as did you
    great post and whose to say it was a day early?

    • Thanks. Sometimes I do feel as if I’m waking up from a dream. 🙂 Thankfully, I haven’t had this sort of dream…or smacked Bill in the head when I woke up.

      janet

  10. Gabriella says:

    Nice twist at the end. Very unexpected. Well-done!

  11. Carrie says:

    Sometimes it all seems so real…is he REALLY waking up to his wife shaking him?

  12. wmqcolby says:

    Time to go to school, Opie! Hahaha! Well, I can certainly relate, though.

    Always a treat reading your stuff, Janet!

  13. Penny L Howe says:

    A great story Janet. Well written and a fun/funny ending (or beginning “of the day”). But your comment section also makes for a compelling read! lol, 🙂

  14. Shainbird says:

    Smart take Janet. Isn’t that how dreaming goes but didn’t see it coming ’til the end.

  15. Sandra says:

    A different take on a difficult prompt. Well done. Though you did take me by surprise on Monday evening, I thought I was having a supernatural experience…

  16. howanxious says:

    A great take on this week’s prompt. I loved the way you created a very true to life event of having been awoken up from a very deep sleep.

  17. Is Friday Fictioneers moving from Wednesday to Monday? Works for me, and so does your story!

  18. Dear Janet,

    That was quite a dream. Hope he didn’t hurt his wife with the head butt. I love the way you use the prompt as a hint. Oh, speaking of hints…next time you get the prompt two days after everyone else. (Glad you got everything done to get your house on the market 😉 )

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  19. zookyworld says:

    That head-butt made me wince after reading of his confusion — and the head-butt must’ve been a jolt to this couple!

  20. nightlake says:

    A bad dream well-explained. It might also end in a scream. The poor wife!

  21. Those are the worst dreams, where you try to move and can’t. You portrayed it really well.

  22. I’ve had dreams like that. 🙂

  23. Joe Owens says:

    Sneaky little Janet “accidentally” jumped the gun. 😛 I know how that can happen janet. The best laid plans foiled by technology!

    • This laptop, one step below a touch screen (which came to Costco about two weeks after we bought this one) is super sensitive, so I’m always switching screens accidentally and, on this occasion, publishing when I didn’t mean to. Thankfully the story was at least finished and Paul was nice enough to tell me about the “Pending” button. Never a dull moment.

      janet

  24. Tom Poet says:

    Janet,
    I just want to say I have had dreams like that….I also wanted to thank you for just being you. Thanks!
    Tom

  25. authorworks says:

    I love your diction! How long have you been writing? And the dream sounds awfully familiar to one I have have had a while back, a dream where I was attempting to answer millions of questions being thrown at me all at once. Great job!

    • Hopefully you woke up less hurtfully than this poor man. I’ve been writing off and on for most of my life. I’ve had my blog for about a year and a half and I’ve been doing Friday Fictioneers for less than a year. I’ve done a lot of non-fiction writing, such as doing our church newsletter and other newsletter.

      janet

  26. Linda Vernon says:

    I’ve had dreams like that before. Only I can never stand up. It’s like I’m on Jupiter. I loved this,Janet. I was relieved it was only a dream! 😀

  27. Nice catch! Almost captured dead-on what it feels like to be trapped in a seizure. Excellent!

  28. troy P. says:

    I really enjoyed where you went with this Janet – and I loved the touch of realism concerning the bit about the head-butt.

  29. unspywriter says:

    Sometimes it’s a relief when it’s all just a dream. 😉

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/on-the-road-again/

  30. rgayer55 says:

    My family raised chickens (now I work for Tyson, what a coincidence) and I had nightmares as a child that I had fallen in the chicken house and couldn’t get up. The chickens would be pecking me. They always pick on the weak, and eventually kill them. I’ve woke up wet with sweat many a time.

  31. Great take 😉 and what a wake up I guess he snored as well

  32. Very suspenseful. Nicely done.

  33. kz says:

    im glad it was a nightmare! a scary thing to find yourself drugged in the middle of nowhere! well done as always 🙂

  34. Kalpana says:

    Ohh – so relieved it was a dream. Happy twist to the story.

  35. Dee says:

    Great story Janet, liked the twist and it was a funny one too!
    Well done

    Dee

  36. Amusing tale, beautifully constructed.

  37. Sarah Ann says:

    This was so heavy that the light relief of the last line was very welcome. It reads as if he’s had a stroke, so I’m glad it was just a bad morning.

  38. Dear Janet,

    I’m glad you got everything together and ready re your house’s upcoming and foreordained sale. Your story seemed like a flashback fever dream from the months you’ve been working on it.

    aloha,

    Doug

  39. Kwadwo says:

    Thankfully, it was just a dream.

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