Friday Fictioneers–Shattered

Posted: July 3, 2013 in Friday Fictioneers, Writing
Tags: , , , , , ,

Another week.  Daily, the unseen pull grows stronger, until the mid-week mirror lures us Narcissus-like to stare into its smooth surface for our inspiration.

No refuge.  The tentacles of creation wind  ’round us, dragging us inexorably toward the keyboard to satisfy the craving.  Sweet addiction!  Our drug of choice.

Go on; give in. Choose your word-weapon.  Wield it fearlessly.
You are a Fictioneer!

Rescuers
Photo copyright David Stewart


Shattered

I've walked on the edge too long,
    sometimes stumbling
    sometimes content
Enduring times of sorrow,
    loneliness,
    exhaustion,
    fear,
    yearning…
    all sans you;
Occasionally lost
    or stopping for breath,
    but buoyed, knowing you were at the end.

Too many days it seemed as if
    I’d not arrive.
But now
    it won’t be long.

I see you in the distance.

I begin running
    Reaching out.

Almost there.
Careful not to fall.

You open your mouth.
    Your words fly out
    and push me.
I tumble into nothingness.

“Why now?” reverberates inside me.

It won’t matter if my body breaks.

My heart’s already shattered.

Comments
  1. summerstommy says:

    Beautifully written Janet. Very sensual.

  2. Sandra says:

    That was very, very sad Janet. Someone who’s been waiting so long to realise the destiny they’d always imagined would be fulfilled. Beautifully done.

  3. vbholmes says:

    I didn’t notice the title and started reading this as a reflection on your upcoming move–then, bam! A very different ending than I’m sure awaits your story. Successful piece, in spite of, as well as because of, the sad ending.

  4. Gabriella says:

    Sad and beautiful! I just love how the different fictioneers have such varied offerings.

  5. Linda Vernon says:

    Really powerful! And a complete story in poetic form. Well done! 😀

  6. billgncs says:

    I’ll heal your shattered heart 🙂

  7. Carrie says:

    I wish there was a LOVE button…cause I loved this

  8. JKBradley says:

    Dark.

    Get out of my head.

  9. Janet – great feeling in this poem as well as a motion toward an unseen edge.

  10. Great poetry… and so sad. I love it

  11. your use of language is lovely!

  12. Jan Brown says:

    Beautiful! Heartbreaking, but beautiful!

  13. silvana1989 says:

    when the heart speaks poetically! I loved 🙂

  14. Dear Janet,

    I thought I’d commented earlier, but it seems to have gotten lost or maybe in my sleepy fog last night I didn’t hit the “post comment” button.

    In any case, this is a touching piece my friend. You articulated loneliness well. Hope her shattered heart is on the mend and today brings healing.

    Happy 4th and shalom,

    Rochelle

  15. zookyworld says:

    Such a deep sadness to this poem, that the narrator of the work has been sad for a very long time.

  16. nightlake says:

    sad and powerful

  17. sandraconner says:

    Oooooh. Wonderful! Your use of language is masterful here. Sad but so very well done.

  18. Oh, I so know that feeling.

  19. writelindy says:

    Wow. What a piece this is.

  20. […] over at This That And The Other Thing wrote a poem called Shattered that was sad. Very sad. And […]

  21. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

    Dark and lovely, Janet.

  22. troy P. says:

    So bleak and tense Janet – wonderfully done as always.

    • Thanks to the first and so nice of you to say so to the second. 🙂 I’m working my way around all the stories that have popped up since I took a Fourth of July break!!

      janet

  23. JackieP says:

    wonderfully sad. Is that possible? I guess it is.

  24. rgayer55 says:

    Terribly sad, but beautifully written. I love poetry and used to write quite a bit of it myself. Much of what I wrote was sad and my wife labeled it “depressing.” Now, I write humor and she rarely even reads it.

    P.S. – I love the line, “I tumble into nothingness.”

  25. Archita says:

    Loved it , Janet.

  26. . Love’s Labors surprisingly lost & despair! Unusual and affecting take on the prompt.

  27. Kent says:

    Aww, that’s sad. 😦
    And it works GREAT! Excellent, Janet!

  28. Oh my goodness – romantic poetry. Surprisingly sweet.

  29. Shreyank says:

    poetic story 🙂 conveyed the emotion well

  30. rheath40 says:

    My Love, this is my favorite take on the prompt. I like to write sad, but this shattered me. I loved it!

  31. annisik51 says:

    These ladders seem to have stirred up a lot of pain amongst Fictioneers this week. Mine started as a poem, too – no dialogue for once. Your poem rakes the soul. It reads like a synopsis for a tragic opera. Tosca-esque.

    • Thanks for the lovely compliments, Ann. The story got ladders and aliens. 🙂 But it was an interesting photo, wasn’t it?

      Sounds like your weekend’s going well and I’m glad. Ours is too.

      janet

  32. Dee says:

    This is so sad Janet and so very well written.
    It struck a deep chord with me, can’t say much more just now.
    Dee

  33. Sarah Ann says:

    This is so beautifully written. I love how you used the prompt. The longing and love is so clear, and then the pain and not understanding. Wonderful. Now, I’d better go calm down. I can’t say what I want to do the person who let those words fly.

  34. Dear Janet,

    I love your forays into verse and admire your ability to pull it off on the spur of the moment. Great poem, true to life and the prompt and a textbook entry for new FF’ers to learn from.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  35. kz says:

    that’s such a powerful last line. sad yet beautifully written poetry.

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