I’m pulling my mind away from unpacking boxes and deciding where to store the contents when the old, familiar storage spots aren’t always available any more, to the more pleasurable task for crafting one hundred words to riff off a photo prompt. Yes, it’s Friday Fictioneers time once again (or in this case, Wednesday Writers). At the end of my story is a link which, if clicked, will lead you into other worlds of other writers. Take a minute to let me know, for better or worse, what you think of my story, then take a bit more time to explore some of the offerings for a variety of talented flash fiction writers.
This week’s prompt is courtesy of Jan Wayne Fields and copyright to him.
Free At Last
“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose” danced in my head as I watched Jimmy sleep. He, and our life, weren’t going to improve. His symptoms grew worse daily. No money for experimental treatments, no close relatives, no opportunity for me to make friends, all made life harder. Even working from home was difficult.
The newly-installed medical board decreed him “not a high priority.” He was to me. I loved him.
As I slipped the needle into his arm, my tears began to fall.
“Free at last. Free at last. Thank God, we’re free at last.”
Weren’t we?
…………………………………….
How did I get here from this photo? Something about the combination of open water and the Statue of Liberty said freedom to me, but not the freedom we normally associate with the Statue. There are however, many types of freedom, illusory or real.
This, that and the other thing 
That’s such a heartbreaking tale. I like how you started with freedom and came up with a very different take on it.
I’m glad you got that from it, David. Freedom sounds wonderful and generally is, but there’s more to it than just doing what you want. Like so much else (or perhaps everything else), it’s very complex and has both a dark side and consequences.
janet
He was to me. I loved him. Powerful words… makes me want to cry. Yes, freedom means many things. I think Janis was singing just for her and Jimmy.
Thanks, Ted. Hope your day’s going well on this day of remembrance.
janet
Secretly complex tale wrapped nicely in fine English! Methinks you went political there, but I can assure you there are good sides to it too! I won’t go the statistics route as I agree with Mark Twain! I think you should get bonus points for originality…
Thanks much, Pirate. Only slightly political and that mostly for the story. I’ll take the bonus points, but what do I get with them? 🙂
janet
I hope you get to more mountain peaks – a lovely idea!
Great! Any points I can redeem for mountains are points worth getting.
They’re like Green Stamps. Eventually, you can get an oven mitt or a small spool of dental floss.
Sticking my tongue out at you. You just ruined my great expectations. What the dickens!
heartbreaking. i like this a lot– ‘ “not a high priority.” He was to me. ‘ it tugged at my heartstrings.
and that question at the end! great.
Thanks, kz. It’s nice to be back, although I have to pace myself with reading. Unpack, then read a few, unpack, read a few, repeat, repeat… 🙂
janet
well we’re glad you’re back 🙂
“Spellbound an’ swallowed ’til the tolling ended
Tolling for the aching whose wounds cannot be nursed
For the countless confused, accused, misused, strung-out ones an’ worse
An’ for every hung-up person in the whole wide universe
An’ we gazed upon the chimes of freedom flashing.”-Bob Dylan
Freedom is complicated to say the least. Well done Janet and one of my favorite lines from Janis.
Tom
Thanks, Tom, and thanks for sharing a song with which I was unfamiliar!
janet
It is called Chimes of Freedom flashing. Not too many people know a 7 minute Dylan song…http://youtu.be/rkkA-iyOd3c
First of all, I have missed you on FF… welcome back.. secondly this is a fine and sentimental story… and I have a lump in my throuat from reading it… so sad when it ends without any options…
Thanks for the welcome back and the nice comment, Bjorn. It’s nice to be back but it was nice to be off when I had so much to do. As for the story, too often life seems to offer only undesirable options. Your story went down that path, too, although for very different reasons and without the love involved, except love of money.
janet
A heartbreakingly good job 🙂
Thanks, Helen. Her heart was broken as well.
janet
I can still hear Janis’ voice singing that line. It’s a heartbreaking story you’ve told.
It would be heartbreaking to make that sort of choice, Patti. I could hear Janis, too, and then Dr. King.
janet
A very sad tale, beautifully written.
We hear so much these days about cases where “maybe such and such a treatment will help but it’s too expensive”, or “not a high priority” as you have written.
That’s a difficult situation. Although I think medical costs are often too high, many things are expensive because so much money goes into their development and into all the tries that didn’t work. And doctors and scientists certainly deserve remuneration for their skills. No easy answers and I think it’s only going to get worse. Certainly health care itself is getting much more expensive. Makes spending money on good food and time on exercise worth a lot!!
janet
Very true.
I think I get annoyed because health care is free (I live in the UK) so I always expect to get whatever I need. However, the NHS (National Health Service) generally won’t pay for very expensive drugs if there’s only a tiny chance of an increased quality of life.
Dear Janet,
It’s about time! You’ve left Janet-size hole in the Linkz tool that’s tough to fill. Heartbreaking story and now I hear Janis. Beautifully written. Welcome back, friend. 😉
Shalom,
Rochelle
Many thanks, Rochelle. It’s good to be back but it was necessary to be gone. Looking forward to many more weeks.
janet
Hi Janet good to read your posts again. I like this, the idea of suffering and what to do when nothing can be done. It is a dilemma the world over. Lovely touch with the line from Bobby McGee to begin, for freedom is priceless.
Nice to be back. Freedom is priceless in one way but always comes with a price as well, just one of the paradoxes that makes life interesting and complex. Thanks for stopping by. I’ve missed FF.
janet
And BTW, you’re always welcome to read my non-FF posts or look at the photos, of course. 🙂
Welcome back, Janet. Hope you’re somewhat settled in your new home but glad to see you haven’t lost your storytelling touch. Sad, but well done.
Thanks for the welcome back and the welcome comments, vb. Settling in and each day getting some boxes unpacked and things put away. I’m doing as much as I can without driving myself crazy. 🙂 At least I have time at this end.
janet
The two sides of freedom, this is a great story, Janet! One of your best.
Thanks very much, Perry! The break must have done me good. 🙂 I believe I’ll be offering you happy birthday wishes tomorrow, is that not so? Maybe I’ll get in with them early and wish you a wonderful day and year right now.
janet
How’s everything on Janet’s planet? Loved the Janis Joplin reference. In so few words, you’ve chronicled one of life’s most difficult and heartbreaking decisions. I you love someone, set them free! Ron
Things on Janet’s Planet are going well. The house sold, our things were moved, we’re together once again. The unpacking continues. 🙂 How are things in Ron’s World.
Interplanet Janet (she’s a galaxy girl)
Oh Janet, the desperation came through loud and clear. Excellent and moving story.
Thanks very much, Honie. As an author, it’s good to know what the reader takes away from the story. Sometimes it’s very different from the intended meaning, but in this case, it worked.
janet
At least one of them will have peace.
Probably only the one, JK. Thanks for dropping by.
janet
Oh my goodness. This has touched a nerve. I can’t say any more than that.
Janet this is beautiful. I realize it may be an odd response. But I have had this conversation with many a friend who have wished the injection were easier to acquire. This is love if you ask me.
FYI-I tripped up on the 3rd sentence first paragraph “no opportunity for me to make friends didn’t help.”. Perhaps if it said “no opportunity for me to make friends, nothing helped.”
It’s a difficult decision and religion plays a part, too. Thanks for the input on the sentence. I’ll take a look at it and see what I can do within the 100-word confines, lest the mountains fall down on me. Thanks for your comments and time!
janet
Yes we must adhere to word count. 🙂 My suggestion is within bounds.
Just made a change. See what you think.
Yes much better!
I’m afraid we’re all expendable from someone’s perspective. But I keep the faith that there is a great freedom on the other side. A very well written and touching story, Janet.
Thanks, Ray. I have the same faith and wouldn’t be able to do this myself. Glad you liked the story, though, and it has touched people in different ways.
janet
Janet I love the honest feeling and struggle your mc faces. Freedom really is complex
i never would have connected that concept with this picture, so hats off to you. suggestions:
He and our lives weren’t going to improve.
consider, “He, and our life, wasn’t going to improve.” commas for dramatic pause, bringing attention to the moment. “life” instead of “lives” because it more draws the two of you into one life instead of separate.
As I slipped the needle into his arm, my tears began to fall.
consider, “Before slipping the needle into his vein, my tears were already falling.”
vein sounds more helpless than arm. arms are strength. veins are vulnerability.
lovely piece.
Thanks, Rich, for the compliments and suggestions. I like the “He, and our life…” idea, although since it’s a plural subject, even though divided, it would need to be “weren’t.” Still thinking about “vein” vs. “arm”, but I’d keep the rest of the sentence as is, not using the “Before…” as that wasn’t the timing I envisioned.
janet
i will look again, but i don’t instantly agree about wasn’t/weren’t. problem is i’m trying to make a grilled cheese with bacon at the same time.
No rush, Rich. I don’t want to ruin lunch. “He, and our life, weren’t going to improve” or “He, and our life, wasn’t going to improve.” Still appear to be two subjects, “he” and “life”.
yes, but the pause/comma – for me – changes that.
Inserting commas wouldn’t change the number of subjects, though. Using “or” would, but it’s still “and.”
creative license
🙂
The unspoken part of that refrain is the theme of this story to me. Once there was nothing left to loose, he was free.
I enjoyed your take. Original idea but I can see how you’d get there from your comments after the story. Well written and very sad.
Glad you came by, Penny. I really don’t know where the idea came from but the “freedom” theme had to have been what started it. The mind works in mysterious ways sometimes, but at least it was working. 🙂
janet
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A wonderfully poignant interpretation of freedom this picture represents. After all, when we’re finally free of pain, we are free. Wonderfully expressed.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/the-new-colossus/
Thanks, Maggie. Jimmy is free, but I’m not sure his sister will be. A decision like that would likely haunt you forever, even if you thought it was for good reason.
janet
Emotional tale. Great job
Thanks very much. It would be a very difficult and emotional decision to make. Hopefully none of us will ever have to make it.
janet
An homage to the 70s with the song and quotes….freedom from pain is one of the most crucial things for us humans.
Another excellent story, janet.
Thanks so much. Nice to be back. 🙂
Have a great weekend.
janet
Wonderfully developed in 100 words. And that last thought of doubt was chilling. Really, so well done!
Thanks for the visit, Linda. It’s fun to be back, enjoying both the writing and reading.
janet
Very good – mine is posted.
Scott
Thanks, Scott. Just got back in after a lovely day out, so I’ll be working on the rest of the stories. Have a great weekend.
janet
It is kind of frightening to think that there could be such real scenarios with the ‘Obama health care’ and life or death decisions made for us when we cannot make them for ourselves or have a loved do it for us. A vivid story, and not so far from reality.
That’s true, Joyce, and the further away from believing in God we get, the more “humane” these choices seem.
janet
Yes. How true that is. We have yet to see things that will more than challenge our faith. It may shake one’s foundation.
You took me down an unpleasant road I didn’t want to take! It was deep, vibrant and well written. I felt pain and despair, final choices. Not pleasant, but well done!
No, it wasn’t pleasant, but I’m glad it’s been provoking emotions and, more importantly, thoughts. Have a wonderful weekend!
janet
Such a sad story, but even sadder because it’s true for so many people. Powerful.
Thanks for stopping by and reading. I know there are people who make that choice and I’m sure many others consider it, if only in passing. It’s difficult to see a loved one suffer and have no relief.
janet
Awesome and excellent!
Thanks very much, Anne! Hope your Saturday’s off to a wonderful start. I’m just headed off to the farmer’s market.
janet
Janet, I like how started with this song and ended in a completely different place, although a sad place. There’s hope and then there’s disappointment, clearly felt here.
I still like that I have until Friday for my story! hee hee
Wow. Your story is moving and powerful, especially because it is so near to the truth for families enduring medical hardships. I feel sad about the girl because in my mind she isn’t going to be free. I don’t see that; I think she will be tortured by the memory.
Pretty heavy take on the prompt! But a story that must be faced all the same. I expect that she will be free and like everything awful we have to deal with, she will compartmentalise this episode, stowing it away in the back of her mind, so it will only haunt her on those sleepless nights, before she resorts to valium…
Could be. But perhaps she’ll be one of those who get help dealing with it and emerge stronger and wiser. We can but hope. Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your Sunday.
janet
Dear Janet,
Can lyrics dance? And are they both committing suicide? I like this story, but must be addle-pated for I have too many questions that others do not. Is there a veiled political statement here?
Aloha,
Doug
The story itself is simple, although the implications and consequences aren’t. Her brother has an unspecified disease or condition that is worsening, making both their lives very difficult. The board that decides who gets treatments doesn’t see him as a priority, whether from age or because he won’t recover or for whatever reason, so he isn’t able to get the expensive treatment he’d need to stabilize or at least somewhat control his condition. She’s giving him something to kill him. Is it assisted suicide? Is it murder with good intentions? Is it right or wrong? You decide.
I think my explanation is probably longer than my story, but that’s what was in my mind. As for lyrics dancing, I certainly find them dancing in my head so I’m guessing they might in hers as well.
janet
Beautifully touching.
Thanks, Dawn.
janet
I like the way you interpreted the prompt. You story is so sad and touching – the pain and reasons for the course taken tangible.
Thank you, Sarah Ann. I appreciate you coming by and I’m glad you liked the story.
janet