Snow–a haiku

Posted: December 28, 2013 in Poetry
Tags: , , ,

Crunching underfoot
Pristine snow now marred by boots
Lone goose flies above

20131227-204959.jpg

Comments
  1. Lovely Janet, great photo as well.
    Hope you had a great Christmas.

  2. Loved the visuals here, and the goose flying also gave an auditory angle as well. I love the sound of geese flying overhead.

    • Happy Saturday, Madison. The four of us (the girls are both here) walked around the lake yesterday and other than the snow being pristine (it already had many tracks), everything in the haiku was there. I was composing it in my head as I walked. ๐Ÿ™‚ Not really sure why the goose was by itself as they’re usually together, but it obviously had no idea it was supposed to have gone south!!

      janet

  3. brainsnorts says:

    over the past few years i’ve come to appreciate haiku more than i used to. maybe that’s your doing. could be. time to be selfish – my ears are bothered by “snow now.” can you consider taking out “now” and putting an adjective in front of “boots.” like maybe “firm boots.” firm to contrast the soft snow. i don’t know how much “now” really adds to the moment. although, thinking further, “now” is a juncture between a second ago and a second after, so it does hold two times together. eh, i do see the value of “now.” but i don’t feel like deleting all this, so you’ll just have to live with it. happy saturday.

    • I wonder whether because “snow” and “now” look as thought they should rhyme, that might have something to do with it. “Now” links the pristine, which would have no markings, to the snow that now has tracks. As always, thanks for thoughtful feedback and enjoy your Saturday as well.

      janet

  4. I feel like I am there with you with such a great combination of the snowy image and descriptive Haiku.
    Lisa

  5. helenscribe says:

    Beautifully evocative.

  6. viveka says:

    Lovely … combination.

  7. I wonder what type of image that Haiku brings to mind in others? For me, it’s the absolute quiet and alone feeling I would get when I looked back in our woods on a winter morning and saw that it was just my boots that had marred an, otherwise, pristine scene. Then, there would be that lone goose going quietly overhead and you just had to wonder where and why.
    Those were, looking back, good feelings that I didn’t pay enough attention to at the time.
    Scott

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