Friday Fictioneers–Not Just Another Old Chestnut

Posted: January 1, 2014 in Friday Fictioneers, Humor
Tags: , , , , ,

I’ve been absent from Friday Fictioneers for a few weeks now, enjoying Christmas and New Years with family and friends and making another epic drive Sunday through Tuesday.  On the 9th, I head to Arizona to visit my parents and my brother and his family.   My parents don’t have internet (don’t need it if you don’t have a computer) and since all their connected neighbors are so crass as to have protected wi-fi, my access is limited to the time I spend at the library or a Starbucks.  It’s a mixed blessing–I miss being online and it’s a struggle to get through email, blog posts, etc. when I am online, but it’s an amazingly freeing experience as well.

As for this week, if the pun is truly the lowest form of humor, I’m well below the limbo level with my offering.  I could plead insanity, but why bother?  It will be all to clear to any of you reading beyond my intro!  And I cheerfully admit I enjoyed every minute of it.  I hope you find it a tree-t.

May 2014 be a blessed year for each of you, filled with joy, health and wonder.

tree-climbing-poppyPhoto courtesy of Rochelle’s daughter-in-law

Genre:  Humor (I hope.)

Not Just Another Old Chestnut

“What the devil, Sherlock?  Why do yew have a wooden replica of the Hound up there?”

“ Acorny story, Watson.  He started to bark at trees, then branched out to climbing them; just pined for them, couldn’t leaf them alone.   I wood quake like an aspen at first, but everything seemed oak-ay until he ran up this one..  He was rooted  in place, his fir stood up and he turned into the wooden statue you see here.  A shame, but he looks very spruce up there.  I guess olive with it.

“But how…?”

“Elmementary, my dear Watson.  It’s a dog-wood.”


I have to say that when choosing the right link-y thing code, I find it rather annoying to have to use the “non-dynamic” code. Really! Couldn’t they call it something less common-sounding?  Be that as it may, if you wish to read more stories, click on the blue guy.

  1. Dee says:

    Excellent Janet – I’m amayzed at the concedarable skill you show here

    Happy New Year! Hope 2014 is a happy and healthy year for you and the family


    • Oh, Dee, you wood try to outdo me. I like “concedarable.” If I’d thought of it, I would have tried to fit it in somewhere. As for the happy and healthy stuff, right back at you!


  2. yarnspinnerr says:

    Wonderfully imagined.

    Best wishes for a joyful 2014.

  3. Happy New Year Janet. I feel I have to give a pun here… but its too hard for me today . Loved all the tree jokes you put in.

    • That’s fine, Bjorn, no punny responses required. It gets hard trying to keep up with them anyway. Thanks for the visit and glad you enjoyed the story. Happy New Year to you, too.


  4. Sandra says:

    I thought I’d be syc a more doggie stories, but a clever one like really takes the biscuit. I’ll go and lie down now. 😦 Well done, Janet.

    • Oh, very good, Sandra! I couldn’t think of any “real” stories that I didn’t think might be over-used and then this one hit me and I was a goner. I’m glad you liked it.


  5. Hahaha. Oh, very well done to you, Janet. Happy New Year, and thanks for the smiles. 🙂

  6. Joyce says:

    Very cute and clever. 🙂

  7. Groannnnn! 😆 I enjoyed your little story. Kind of reminded me of Laugh-In. Remember when they would come out of the psychedelic doors at the end of the show.

  8. Happy New Year! Wishing you blessings in 2014.

  9. May the Lord richly bless you in 2014. I appreciate all your encouragement, and you wonderful pictures and posts!

  10. Bumba says:

    What terrible puns! You were barking up the wrong tree. No, that was the dog.

  11. mike olley says:

    Someone told me about the amount of puns in this story saying I wooden believe it. I do now : )
    Dog wood, indeed.

  12. helenmidgley says:

    Ha Ha, glad he wasn’t barking up the wrong tree 😉

  13. Bryan Ens says:

    Very punny indeed…but I love a good j-oak!

  14. Dear Janet,

    It’s all pun and games with you, isn’t it? I’ll go out an a limb and say I enjoyed the climb. Love that you worked “olive” into it. 😉



  15. I was shaking my head the whole time but that last line made me LOL.
    Happy traveling, been super busy myself and will be for another week or so, isn’t it grand!

  16. R. E. Hunter says:

    A very punny story 8^}

  17. M. R. says:

    JANET! – that is indeed the WORST thing I’ve read in absolutely yonks!!! However, it’s also really witty; and this means that it’s certainly punny. For we all know that puns are meant to make us groan, but secretly be impressed. 🙂

    • I have to blame my muse, Margaret. It grabbed me be the throat and woodent leaf me alone until I yielded. I should have dedicated it to a long-gone friend who loved puns and used them often or to Richard Lederer for his book, “Get Thee to a Punnery.” I love word play and puns are an enjoyable part of that. Enjoy your day!


  18. Jan Brown says:


    And yet I must concede, it’s very well done!!! Happy new year, Janet!

  19. DCTdesigns says:

    Well then I say more insanity please. I thoroughly enjoyed your punny story. Yew made me giggle.

  20. Great job, very funny! You were clearly barking up the right tree ….

  21. Adam Ickes says:

    This is brilliant in that “sometimes you just have to act silly and laugh” sort of way. You’ll get no puns out of me. Mostly because I’ve never been good at them and I’d fail miserably and being as shy as I am I don’t like failing miserably in a public forum.

    Have a wonderful 2014, Janet.

    • Good morning, Adam. I’m glad you enjoyed the punning. I love to play with words, but with FF, I wouldn’t want to do it more than once in the proverbial blue moon. It was a lot of fun to do, though, so I’m glad people are enjoying it.


  22. elmowrites says:

    I feel that the greatest compliment I can give you is a loud Groooaaaan! Good job and indeed a treat. If they don’t fix our furnace, I’ll be burning your story for fuel!

  23. lindarigsbee says:

    Oh my that was good! I laughed out loud at the end.

  24. draliman says:

    Oh deary me, that was so clever and funny! Well done 🙂

  25. rgayer55 says:

    This was a hoot, Janet. A dogwood, really? Why didn’t I think of that?
    There was a very nice picture of you and Rochelle in the OWL newsletter this week. Let me know if you don’t have a copy and I’ll forward it to you.

    • I did see the photo, Russ, and am hoping to get to the February meeting, although it depends on some other possible travel plans. I saw it online. Did you get a hard copy? As for the dogwood, well, I guess it was just a tree-mendous idea. 🙂

      Thanks for thinking of me.


  26. plaridel says:

    oh my, your wit is shining through. 🙂

  27. I am humbled by your presence. My English teacher in High School used to tease me saying how puns were the lowest form of humor. I wonder why, besides being the funniest form, they were also the one most frequented by Shakespeare?

    • Shakespeare geared his plays to “the people” so it’s no wonder he used lots of puns. They can be lots of fun. Hope your new year’s off to a great start, Scott.


  28. pattisj says:

    A fun read, Janet. I just returned from a no-internet locale, so I know the mixed feelings you speak of. Safe travels and enjoy your visit!

    • Thanks, Patti. I’ll probably write next week but won’t be able to do much reading. I’ll be blogging every day, though. Can’t miss a day. 🙂 On my last epic drive, I did two posts on the road, one at a Starbucks and one from a MacDonalds.


  29. zookyworld says:

    Oh man, those puns are dropping like so many acorns! I’m impressed you fit so many in there — it was indeed a tree-t.

  30. liz young says:

    That was very clever, if yew’re aspen me.

  31. JKBradley says:

    Clever story, clever indeed.

  32. Subroto says:

    That must have been great fun to write. Did you aim for the tree hundred word limit? I wood have needed a treesaurus. Always good to branch into a new genre. I feel oakhausted already.

  33. Lyn says:

    Oh my goodness, Janet… I woodn’t have thought such a post was possible, but you did it. Let’s hope his bark is worse than his bite. Great piece of writing 🙂

  34. kz says:

    lol 🙂 cleverly written, janet and pretty amazing. i can’t even think of tree joke to include in my comment. haha a very enjoyable read.

  35. Sun says:

    you are so talented…really enjoyed your tree-t!! 😛

  36. Janet, somehow I missed your link! I hope yew’ll forgive me! Oak-ay, enough with the puns… Very clever take on the prompt! Enjoy your trip to AZ and Happy New Year; I missed yew!

  37. Ha ha! Janet, this is excellent. A dog wood and I love the Olive with it line. That struct me as really funny. Happy 2014 to you!

  38. annisik51 says:

    At least there were no thorns in this tale! And it must have taken some time to come up with all the puns. Best wishes for 2014. May lots of wonder come your way. 🙂

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