Friday Fictioneers.
Look at a photo.
Craft 100 words to tell the story that inspires you.
Share it with others and share your thoughts on their stories.
Repeat weekly.
Learn.  Enjoy. Hone your craft.

Wednesday’s a travel day again, a day that will transport me from balmy mid-70’s to single digits or below, but also a day that takes me home to my husband, a trade well-worth it!  So be patient with me.  I’ll be reading and commenting as soon as possible.  In the meantime, enjoy.

copyright Björn Rudbergs

copyright Björn Rudberg

For Want…

Years spent in marriage-building
	Careful construction
	Stone upon stone
Time spent together in
	Love and laughter
	Work and play
	Shared interests and activities
	Busy-ness and leisure
	Sickness and health

Rain waters.
Growth occurs.
Beauty flowers.
Seasons pass.

Betrayal one hot summer night
	“It just happened once.
	 You’re all that matters.”
Roots of distrust grow slowly
	Pushing apart
	Stone by stone
	Dirt thrust aside
	Gaps open
	Structural weakness 

Rain erodes.
Walls crumble.
Only ruins.
Forever winter.

For want of a nail the shoe was lost;
The horse…
The battle…
The kingdom was lost.

All for the want of a horse-shoe nail.

………………..
Read stories by other Fictioneers by clicking below.

Comments
  1. ‘Marriage-building’ I like that. It is something that needs to be worked at; something which should be fun to work at. A wonderful story to remind us of that. I hope it’s only written from your imagination…

  2. vbholmes says:

    Good construction here, Janet–building a relationship on the same “stones” that later pushed apart as it crumbled. Effective use of form, too. Well done.

    • Thanks very much, vb. I just got home, so I’m looking forward to slowly getting at everyone’s stories. This story/poem came together really fast. The most difficult thing was getting enough of the poem in at the end to keep the sense, yet stay within 100 words.

      janet

  3. Adam Ickes says:

    I love the formatting of this. Very effective when telling such a story as this.

  4. That was great! Wish sometimes I could see the things your way.

  5. Beautifully constructed… It’s so hard to write on your own pictures…

  6. helenmidgley says:

    Wow, not much else I can say really, lol 🙂

  7. Amy says:

    Beautiful thoughts and words! Thank you!

  8. atrm61 says:

    Irony of life:-) Excellent writing!

  9. draliman says:

    I enjoyed the way you built up the relationship just like the house – and then tore it down. I love the way you set this out on the page, too!

    • I find the setting up of poetry on the basic WordPress to be very annoying, as it will only format correctly with the dark background. I’ve finally figured out, though, how to do all the rest of it in the normal way. 🙂

      janet

  10. DCTdesigns says:

    Janet love the format and the message.Have to say my fav section was from betrayal to structural weakness. It flipped the entire piece on its head and dropped it deep. Well written.

  11. I like the way you create such an ominous atmosphere by playing with structure

  12. troy P. says:

    Hitting far to close to home, here’s hoping that winter isn’t nearly as forever as first thought, Janet. Beautifully done, as always.

    • Good morning, Troy. I think betrayal would be very difficult to get over, even with the best of will. It would be difficult to ever be sure you weren’t being fooled again. I really think that if someone is unfaithful and then decides to stop, it’s best never to let the other partner know. I think it’s just trying to get rid of guilt while badly damaging the relationship and the other person.

      janet

  13. Yup and that about sums it up.

  14. Dear Janet,

    Welcome back from your travels.

    It only takes once. I’ll echo what others have said…nice construction. Gently hard-hitting verse that pulls no punches. Let him who has ears…

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • It’s nice to be back, although the “to-do” list looks rather daunting. Oh, well, a step at a time, a story or two… As for the story, even strong relationships can be gradually undermined as well as felled with one blow. They’re worth working on!

      janet

  15. This is so gracefully and eloquently written. The emotions involved- the love, the pain, the heartbreak- they moved me. Thank you for such a brilliant piece of writing 🙂

  16. gingerpoetry says:

    Wonderful Janet, nothing more to say.
    Liebe Grüße
    Carmen

  17. Really profound and beautifully written. How things can go so badly wrong! (It seems almost Shakespearian. Is there a parallel play?)

    • No parallel play that comes to mind, Patrick, although I greatly appreciate the comparison! I just wanted to show the importance of building relationships and how easily they can be shattered.

      janet

  18. znjavid says:

    Absolutely beautiful!

  19. Janet, from previous stories, I know how much you love your life and your husband, which makes this work of fiction, and its rhythm, all the more impressive!

  20. plaridel says:

    poignant, but beautiful. i would have wished a happy ending.

  21. Jan Brown says:

    A sad, but not unrealistic, story. A beautiful poem. Welcome back!

  22. rgayer55 says:

    This reminds me of a fable or parable. Lovely marriage analogy. Once distrust gets in, things start falling apart quite quickly.

  23. denmother says:

    Wonderful imagery. This photo also made me want to put a poem to it, but I chickened out. This was excellent, jan.

  24. kz says:

    that was excellent. wonderfully constructed. and i’m happy to read that it was only written from your imagination 🙂

  25. Marriage can crumble over time and overnight. This was so eloquent, Janet. A really strong piece!

    • Marriage is always a work in progress, one direction or the other. I think it behooves those of us who are married to put our best efforts in to that progress. So pleased you liked the story.

      janet

  26. Subroto says:

    Very well constructed indeed. That last line sums it up.

  27. Indira says:

    Very well written. For me it was gripping.

  28. Steve Lakey says:

    A very poignant story.

  29. wmqcolby says:

    You knocked it out of the park, Janet! Good structure and everything else all around. Marvelous!

  30. Sun says:

    the frailty of life…we work so hard to build something good and in a blink, it’s gone. i enjoyed this very much.

  31. mscwhite says:

    Great poem! I really liked how used the layout to literalise the building of emotion.

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