Friday Fictioneers–Sometimes Things Get a Little Hairy

Posted: March 25, 2014 in Friday Fictioneers, Humor
Tags: , , , ,

My world is topsy-turvey this morning:  Friday-has-become-Wednesday-has-become-Tuesday!  Instead of a leisurely morning, I find myself tumbling out of bed and scrambling to get a hundred-word story ready for “Friday” Fictioneers.  Not sure if I’ll be able to recover from this and from the thin layer of snow that deposited itself outside overnight (or highs in the low 20’s!!)  I’ll do my best and soldier on.  Perhaps it’s fitting that what came to mind for this photo was…. But no, I won’t give it away.  You’ll have to read it and find out for yourself.  But my inspiration was the interesting-looking trees.  And I’ll look at the bright side–one extra day to read all the other stories.

Copyright John Nixon

Copyright John Nixon

 

Sometimes Things Get a Little Hairy

He struggled to find a way through the nightmarish forest of trees coated with a disgusting, viscous substance that seemed to actively impede his progress. Wind and noise buffeted him as he sought the path. Dark, looming trees blocked the light. Sometimes the earth shook, startling him.

He determined to attempt to climb a tree, to catch sight of where he was, to see if it were still day. But as he began, an enormous shape swept down, sending him spinning into sunny space and as the gnat flew away, he heard,
“Dude! Gross! Something was crawling in my Mohawk!”

 

Comments
  1. billgncs says:

    maybe it’s last Friday 🙂

  2. But I thought it was Monday but it’s really Tuesday. Stop! You’re confusing me! Love your crazy story! LOL! 😀

  3. what a happy crowd of trees. Cool

  4. sometimes hairy things better stay undetected :o)

  5. Great POV. It’s all a matter of perspective 🙂

  6. Sandra says:

    Something very different from you Janet; well done. I’m not sure what a ‘Mohawk’ is but I assumed that it’s what I’d call a ‘Mohican’? A long strip of hair over the centre of the head? Some great descriptions in here though.

  7. Funny one, Janet. Love the build up followed by the laugh.

  8. scrbwly says:

    I believe ‘he’ was walking on a tree’s mohawk? no surprise i don’t expect trees to like ‘things’ crawling on their heads 🙂

  9. helenmidgley says:

    That was so clever, I got the gist and laughed out loud 🙂

  10. Hair gel, can also double up as fly paper if you’re out.

  11. Bryan Ens says:

    nice switch of perspective…poor lost gnat!

  12. M-R says:

    You lot are so bloody imaginative ! 🙂

  13. Jan Brown says:

    Hysterical…loved it!

  14. Horus says:

    Honey I shrunk the Kids!

    Nice take Janet 🙂

  15. Nan Falkner says:

    Good job and well written story! Mohawk – and a gnat? You are very talented! Thanks for the entertainment! Nan 🙂

  16. wmqcolby says:

    Hahahaha! As a tree-climber of yesteryear, I can relate to that, although it was usually a spider that got in my hair. No, I never had a mohawk. Nice work! 🙂

  17. K.Z. says:

    LOL the twist completely caught me off guard. very clever 🙂 looks like the gnat and the person were both equally grossed out haha

  18. Wonderful fantasy and it’s just funny that you wrote “dude”. lol

  19. Linda Vernon says:

    Haha! I have a feeling he didn’t have red hair. You did this so good.

  20. elappleby says:

    nicely misdirected. I like it. A day in the life of a gnat!

  21. elmowrites says:

    I’m so glad he got to fly away at the end. Nice bait-and-switch, I’m glad you didn’t go for the Harry Potter giant spider story that first sentence was trying to lure us into!

    • Didn’t even cross my mind, Jen, truly. This one just sprang into my mind and flew off so I went with it. Isn’t bait-and-switch required at least every few weeks by our FF contract? 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. How’s the sleeping going?

      janet

  22. camgal says:

    Haha loved this…and mohawks 🙂

  23. What a glorious POV… really love the surprise at the end… ha… but at least the gnat was not squashed.

  24. draliman says:

    Ha ha, unexpected ending! After I read the ending and knew what was happening I read it again so I could place myself in the gnat’s “shoes”.
    Very good!

  25. Judah First says:

    I love that – from the perspective of a gnat! I might have considered dreads, but then, that’s just me. 😉

  26. Carrie says:

    Awesome! Loved the twist 🙂

  27. Things in one’s mohawk is disturbing Janet. Lovely and dark for me.

  28. JackieP says:

    LOL I laughed at the last line. Really good Janet, good and different. 🙂

  29. “A disgusting, viscous substance” 🙂 I can only imagine. I remember being back in high school and slathering on the hair gel. That guy is lucky to make it out alive. Great story.

  30. Dear Janet,

    I’ve kept my eyes open long enough to read your story. Now I’m going to have nightmares and hear drums along the Mohawk. The ensuing banter in the comments is nearly as much fun as the story itself. Okay…going to prepare coffee and…night night.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  31. Jim Kane says:

    Janet,
    I loved the surprise ending!
    Regards
    Jim

  32. storydivamg says:

    As for Wednesday coming on Tuesday this week, I haven’t let that shake my routine, so I’ll get my story completed by Friday as usual. The early arrival of the prompt should just increase the anticipation and excitement of all 30 of my readers. LOL

    As for your story this week, Janet, I think it’s one of your strongest. The humor and surprise ending work beautifully, and the 100 words suited this little flash just perfectly. Nicely handled.

    Cheers!

    MG

    • Marie, I’m always happy when readers like my stories. I don’t do humor as much as other types of writing but every so often a funny story just begs to be written. I did one that was full of puns once, which was lots of fun. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

      janet

  33. I am even more confused because here in NZ it’s Friday when it is still Thursday in other parts of the world and I always have to mentally adjust time 😦

    Nice story! Great ending!

    • When I respond “Good morning” to a reader or friend in another country, I often think that it’s not really morning where they are. But it sounds odd to say “Good afternoon” when I just got up. Being on a different day must be a little confusing sometimes. But who’s on the different day–you or us? 🙂 Enjoy your day, whatever it is!

      janet

  34. This was hilarious Janet. It was a new one to me, a gnat’s point of view. At least he didn’t get swatted. I guess the guy didn’t want to flatten his Mohawk. Good story. 🙂

    • It was a new one to me, too, Patricia, but I think gnats have gotten a raw deal, so it’s time the story was told. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it.

      janet

  35. Subroto says:

    Gnat what the reader expected. Started as dark and ended up being funny.

  36. vbholmes says:

    Better gnats than cooties, Janet. Of course, there’s always the chance that a cootie wouldn’t be able to work its way through the goo to feed on the Dude’s scalp. For that matter, neither could the gnat–sounds like a new promotion campaign for Tresemme hair gel.

    • Hmmm, perhaps I should try to capitalize on this. Then again, I’m not sure it would make the gel sound appealing. Thanks for popping in on a rainy (at least here) Thursday.

      janet

  37. Admittedly, this one confused me a bit. Had to read it a couple of times, to get that the gnat was the explorer and the tree, one of the dudes. Not your usual darlin’! Fun romp.

    This glitch in the system turned me totally upside down! And then I wrote my story and forgot to hit linkz! Hello 22… no, hello 41 the next morning. A very crazy day indeed in Fictioneerville.

    • Glad you got it and enjoyed it eventually. I wanted to be subtle but perhaps I was too much so. I find it interesting that many people commented that it wasn’t my usual and have done so on posts of different types as well. I imagine I’m typecast as a happy ending person but I’m tempted to go through all my stories and see what genres they tend to be. The only thing I don’t normally do is horror of the kz type.

      The glitch really slowed things down at least on the first day. But there’s an extra day to read (looking at the bright side. At least I’ve finally figured out what day of the week it is!!

  38. I love the twist with the unexpected perspective. I’ve reread it a few times, just to further enjoy the revelation!

  39. brainsnorts says:

    did not see that coming.

    about this, “He determined to attempt to climb a tree…” i know it’s not wrong to say “he determined,” but we usually use “determined” as an adjective, “He WAS determined to attempt…” did you waver over that at all?

  40. plaridel says:

    it was funny. i chuckled, but i didn’t know why. 🙂

  41. Dee says:

    Nice one Janet, always a fan of misdirection
    Dee

  42. rgayer55 says:

    Poor gnat thought he was in the petrified forest. Nice humor, Janet. Kudos.

  43. Sorchia D says:

    EEEOOOO! Nice story from the creepy-crawley’s perspective.

  44. Great idea. I really didn’t see that coming.

  45. Great ending. Time to have a shower. Unusual perspective.

  46. Excellent, Janet! I read it twice to enjoy my altered perspective. We’re all in the Matrix, right?

  47. So that’s what happens when the prompt comes a day early! I dunno, for some reason I feel like washing my hair. A lot! Great use of the prompt, Janet …

  48. Hi Janet,
    Loved the sudden shift at the end from somber to whimsical. Very creative and funny take on the photo. Your imagination is off the chart. I think you should get a Mohawk to celebrate your wild sense of humor. Ron

  49. Ack that made my head itch! Great story 🙂

  50. This is great! I am imagining a sticky forest created by aliens to capture humans in a fly tape kind of trap.

    • It certainly seemed like a trap to the poor gnat, but I don’t think someone who wears a Mohawk is necessarily an alien, although they may sometimes act like it. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the story.

      janet

  51. hugmamma says:

    hilarious! just what i needed at the end of a busy, exhausting day…a good chuckle…

  52. atrm61 says:

    Has!ha!Janet I started laughing right at \ your intro and then walked straight into the dark trap and was anticipating something awful and was thrown off-in a fit of laughter-what a cool and creative ending 😉 Finally the gnat knows how it feels when they invade our personal space-yucky!Also loved the image of the gnat with a Mohawk-very hip and rocking 😀

  53. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

    Ye Olde Misdierection trick, huh? Whist else you got up your sleeve, Janet?

  54. Amy Reese says:

    I imagine hair gel would be quite a viscous substance.This is really funny, Janet!

  55. Liz Young says:

    That was a very clever little story.

  56. Sun says:

    funny story and a good one! your character hopefully found some time to be grateful it was not head lice roaming around in the Mohawk. 😛

  57. Sarah Ann says:

    LOL. So wonderfully set-up. I had no idea of the POV and loved finding out. Wonderfully written and lots of fun.

  58. Funny twist (or should I say curl?!). I love it when a writer turns an expected scene on its ear!

  59. Imelda says:

    ah, that was crazy! The twist/ending was completely unexpected. 🙂

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