My world is topsy-turvey this morning: Friday-has-become-Wednesday-has-become-Tuesday! Instead of a leisurely morning, I find myself tumbling out of bed and scrambling to get a hundred-word story ready for “Friday” Fictioneers. Not sure if I’ll be able to recover from this and from the thin layer of snow that deposited itself outside overnight (or highs in the low 20’s!!) I’ll do my best and soldier on. Perhaps it’s fitting that what came to mind for this photo was…. But no, I won’t give it away. You’ll have to read it and find out for yourself. But my inspiration was the interesting-looking trees. And I’ll look at the bright side–one extra day to read all the other stories.
Copyright John Nixon
Sometimes Things Get a Little Hairy
He struggled to find a way through the nightmarish forest of trees coated with a disgusting, viscous substance that seemed to actively impede his progress. Wind and noise buffeted him as he sought the path. Dark, looming trees blocked the light. Sometimes the earth shook, startling him.
He determined to attempt to climb a tree, to catch sight of where he was, to see if it were still day. But as he began, an enormous shape swept down, sending him spinning into sunny space and as the gnat flew away, he heard,
“Dude! Gross! Something was crawling in my Mohawk!”
maybe it’s last Friday 🙂
I’m so confusticated!! With the snow, maybe it’s a Friday in January or February!!
But I thought it was Monday but it’s really Tuesday. Stop! You’re confusing me! Love your crazy story! LOL! 😀
A crazy story for a crazy day. As for confused, I think we both are. Ahhh, well, there are worse things except that if it’s Wednesday, my husband’s still sitting at the airport from last night. 🙂
janet
Well, if you hurry, you can just make it! 😀
what a happy crowd of trees. Cool
They’re interesting trees, aren’t they?
sometimes hairy things better stay undetected :o)
Great POV. It’s all a matter of perspective 🙂
Perspective has cropped up a lot in the last several weeks, but it’s so important. 🙂
janet
Something very different from you Janet; well done. I’m not sure what a ‘Mohawk’ is but I assumed that it’s what I’d call a ‘Mohican’? A long strip of hair over the centre of the head? Some great descriptions in here though.
That’s exactly what a Mohawk is, Sandra. Glad you liked the descriptions.
janet
Funny one, Janet. Love the build up followed by the laugh.
A little misdirection is always good. Hope your day’s going well.
It is going well. I wish the same for you.
I believe ‘he’ was walking on a tree’s mohawk? no surprise i don’t expect trees to like ‘things’ crawling on their heads 🙂
No, he was walking on a person’s Mohawk, but the hair seemed like trees to him.
janet
haha… thanks!
That was so clever, I got the gist and laughed out loud 🙂
Good, Helen!
janet
Hair gel, can also double up as fly paper if you’re out.
Especially with a Mohawk as it needs so much product to stay up! Our younger daughter had one for a time and what a lot of work it was for her if she wanted it up.
janet
Brushing my hair sometimes feels like an effort to far for me, time for hair gel or any other hair based styler went out the window long ago.
nice switch of perspective…poor lost gnat!
Being a small bug has its drawbacks. Thanks for stopping by, Bryan.
janet
You lot are so bloody imaginative ! 🙂
I’ll take that as a compliment. 🙂 Off to hit a used bookstore (not literally, of course) before heading to the airport to get Bill.
HAPPY DAYS !!!!
Hysterical…loved it!
Glad to hear it, Jan.
janet
Honey I shrunk the Kids!
Nice take Janet 🙂
Hopefully you didn’t turn them into gnats, though. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it, Horus.
janet
Good job and well written story! Mohawk – and a gnat? You are very talented! Thanks for the entertainment! Nan 🙂
Definitely my pleasure, Nan. I’m pleased you enjoyed it. Every so often I just have to try humor, so I’m glad it worked.
janet
Hahahaha! As a tree-climber of yesteryear, I can relate to that, although it was usually a spider that got in my hair. No, I never had a mohawk. Nice work! 🙂
Thanks, Kent. I hope you weren’t the gnat climbing the tree of hair as in my story, though. Glad you never had a Mohawk!!
janet
Hahaha! Mine always had fleas.
Great now I’m picturing Kent in a Mohawk. Going to hide under the bed now.
Ha!!
How … AND how!
LOL the twist completely caught me off guard. very clever 🙂 looks like the gnat and the person were both equally grossed out haha
I think the gnat got the worse end of it, but who knows? Glad you enjoyed it. I guess this could be classified as “horror” in a very small way. 🙂
janet
Wonderful fantasy and it’s just funny that you wrote “dude”. lol
🙂 Dudette, I’m happy you enjoyed it so much.
janet
Haha! I have a feeling he didn’t have red hair. You did this so good.
🙂 Thanks, Linda.
janet
nicely misdirected. I like it. A day in the life of a gnat!
It can be tough or at least so I’m told.
janet
HEE HEE…I can see it!
Being a gnat isn’t all a free and easy life. Disaster lurks where you least expect it. 🙂 Thanks for dropping by, Hamish. Always good to see you and hear from you.
janet
I’m so glad he got to fly away at the end. Nice bait-and-switch, I’m glad you didn’t go for the Harry Potter giant spider story that first sentence was trying to lure us into!
Didn’t even cross my mind, Jen, truly. This one just sprang into my mind and flew off so I went with it. Isn’t bait-and-switch required at least every few weeks by our FF contract? 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. How’s the sleeping going?
janet
I believe you, but I’m sure you see it now? And yes, b-a-s is always good and practically compulsory on a regular basis.
oh, ps… sleep? what’s that? No, we’re steadily progressing toward sanity-inducing levels again, I think! Touch wood, anyway
Touch wood??? Really? You’ve been looking at the prompt too long. 🙂 Hope you arrive at acceptable sleep levels very soon!!
Haha loved this…and mohawks 🙂
What a glorious POV… really love the surprise at the end… ha… but at least the gnat was not squashed.
He’s lucky to get away unscathed, that’s for sure. I’m glad you enjoyed the story and that I surprised you as intended.
janet
Ha ha, unexpected ending! After I read the ending and knew what was happening I read it again so I could place myself in the gnat’s “shoes”.
Very good!
Thanks very much. To be re-read is either a compliment or a sign that I didn’t make things clear enough so I’m glad in this case it was the first. 🙂
janet
I love that – from the perspective of a gnat! I might have considered dreads, but then, that’s just me. 😉
Works either way.
janet
Awesome! Loved the twist 🙂
I’m glad, Carrie.
janet
Things in one’s mohawk is disturbing Janet. Lovely and dark for me.
Not as dark as for the gnat that almost got stuck in there. 🙂 Nice to see you, Michael.
janet
Ha I guess not. Have a good evening Janet.
LOL I laughed at the last line. Really good Janet, good and different. 🙂
Thanks, Jackie! I thought I’d have a twist that wasn’t horror to a story that sounded like it would be, rather than the other way ’round. I’m glad it worked.
janet
“A disgusting, viscous substance” 🙂 I can only imagine. I remember being back in high school and slathering on the hair gel. That guy is lucky to make it out alive. Great story.
You’d be amazed at how much product it takes to make a Mohawk stand up. I know I was when our daughter had one.
janet
Dear Janet,
I’ve kept my eyes open long enough to read your story. Now I’m going to have nightmares and hear drums along the Mohawk. The ensuing banter in the comments is nearly as much fun as the story itself. Okay…going to prepare coffee and…night night.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Gnats along the Mohawk–yes. Drums? No. Hope you don’t have gnatmares.
janet
Janet,
I loved the surprise ending!
Regards
Jim
Thanks, Jim.
janet
As for Wednesday coming on Tuesday this week, I haven’t let that shake my routine, so I’ll get my story completed by Friday as usual. The early arrival of the prompt should just increase the anticipation and excitement of all 30 of my readers. LOL
As for your story this week, Janet, I think it’s one of your strongest. The humor and surprise ending work beautifully, and the 100 words suited this little flash just perfectly. Nicely handled.
Cheers!
MG
Marie, I’m always happy when readers like my stories. I don’t do humor as much as other types of writing but every so often a funny story just begs to be written. I did one that was full of puns once, which was lots of fun. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
janet
Janet,
I struggle with the balancing act of writing humor, but it’s a great exercise. You did it well here.
Cheers!
MG
I am even more confused because here in NZ it’s Friday when it is still Thursday in other parts of the world and I always have to mentally adjust time 😦
Nice story! Great ending!
When I respond “Good morning” to a reader or friend in another country, I often think that it’s not really morning where they are. But it sounds odd to say “Good afternoon” when I just got up. Being on a different day must be a little confusing sometimes. But who’s on the different day–you or us? 🙂 Enjoy your day, whatever it is!
janet
This was hilarious Janet. It was a new one to me, a gnat’s point of view. At least he didn’t get swatted. I guess the guy didn’t want to flatten his Mohawk. Good story. 🙂
It was a new one to me, too, Patricia, but I think gnats have gotten a raw deal, so it’s time the story was told. 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it.
janet
Gnat what the reader expected. Started as dark and ended up being funny.
🙂 Thanks, Subroto.
janet
Better gnats than cooties, Janet. Of course, there’s always the chance that a cootie wouldn’t be able to work its way through the goo to feed on the Dude’s scalp. For that matter, neither could the gnat–sounds like a new promotion campaign for Tresemme hair gel.
Hmmm, perhaps I should try to capitalize on this. Then again, I’m not sure it would make the gel sound appealing. Thanks for popping in on a rainy (at least here) Thursday.
janet
Admittedly, this one confused me a bit. Had to read it a couple of times, to get that the gnat was the explorer and the tree, one of the dudes. Not your usual darlin’! Fun romp.
This glitch in the system turned me totally upside down! And then I wrote my story and forgot to hit linkz! Hello 22… no, hello 41 the next morning. A very crazy day indeed in Fictioneerville.
Glad you got it and enjoyed it eventually. I wanted to be subtle but perhaps I was too much so. I find it interesting that many people commented that it wasn’t my usual and have done so on posts of different types as well. I imagine I’m typecast as a happy ending person but I’m tempted to go through all my stories and see what genres they tend to be. The only thing I don’t normally do is horror of the kz type.
The glitch really slowed things down at least on the first day. But there’s an extra day to read (looking at the bright side. At least I’ve finally figured out what day of the week it is!!
I’ve had my days all turned around this week, and this definitely make it worse! To be honest, I get the same kinds of comments when I wander off the path. Not sure what my general genre is either, but people like us in our comfy zone. 😉
Or their comfy zone for us.
Indeed. See, you always catch me. 😉
I love the twist with the unexpected perspective. I’ve reread it a few times, just to further enjoy the revelation!
To be read more than once is always a compliment, Adelie, if it’s for enjoyment rather than because I wasn’t clear enough! 🙂 Thanks.
janet
did not see that coming.
about this, “He determined to attempt to climb a tree…” i know it’s not wrong to say “he determined,” but we usually use “determined” as an adjective, “He WAS determined to attempt…” did you waver over that at all?
I didn’t, Rich, until you mentioned it. However, Merriam Webster has an entire section of “determine” as a very and “determined” as the past tense: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/determine. This example sentence is included in the transitive verb section: “d : resolve ” So I think I’m on solid grammatical ground here. What say you?
janet
as i said, you aren’t wrong, but you are not using the word as it is most commonly used. determined can be synonymous with decided. no problem.
however, when i use “determined” as a verb instead of a predicate adjective, it is for something external. such as “he determined it would take more money to buy the car.” not something internal like, “he determined he was hungry.”
I take your point, though, Rich, and always appreciate the input. Were I to do it again, I might go with “decided.”
you win
Never a contest. Always win-win.
okay fine. we win.
it was funny. i chuckled, but i didn’t know why. 🙂
Hope you figured out why by the end.
janet
Nice one Janet, always a fan of misdirection
Dee
Thanks, Dee. We aim to misdirect (usually.) 🙂
janet
Poor gnat thought he was in the petrified forest. Nice humor, Janet. Kudos.
EEEOOOO! Nice story from the creepy-crawley’s perspective.
Thanks. Everyone needs to be represented, right?
janet
Great idea. I really didn’t see that coming.
Neither did the guy with the Mowhawk or the gnat. 🙂 Thanks, Claire.
janet
Great ending. Time to have a shower. Unusual perspective.
In FF, the unusual is the new usual. Thanks for stopping by, Patrick.
janet
Excellent, Janet! I read it twice to enjoy my altered perspective. We’re all in the Matrix, right?
Which color pill, Joanna? TGIF and enjoy your weekend.
janet
Lapis lazuli blue, of course. 😉 You too, Janet.
Silly me not to have realized that. Don’t know where my mind was.
😉
So that’s what happens when the prompt comes a day early! I dunno, for some reason I feel like washing my hair. A lot! Great use of the prompt, Janet …
🙂 Thanks, Perry. You’re probably safe unless you have a Mohawk that doesn’t show up on your gravatar photo.
janet
Hi Janet,
Loved the sudden shift at the end from somber to whimsical. Very creative and funny take on the photo. Your imagination is off the chart. I think you should get a Mohawk to celebrate your wild sense of humor. Ron
Thanks, Ron, but I think I’ll just take the compliment and leave the Mohawk to someone else. 🙂 Perhaps I’ll have a drink instead.
janet
Ack that made my head itch! Great story 🙂
Haha! Sorry about that.
janet
This is great! I am imagining a sticky forest created by aliens to capture humans in a fly tape kind of trap.
It certainly seemed like a trap to the poor gnat, but I don’t think someone who wears a Mohawk is necessarily an alien, although they may sometimes act like it. 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the story.
janet
hilarious! just what i needed at the end of a busy, exhausting day…a good chuckle…
Happy I could oblige. 🙂 Have a lovely, restful weekend.
janet
Has!ha!Janet I started laughing right at \ your intro and then walked straight into the dark trap and was anticipating something awful and was thrown off-in a fit of laughter-what a cool and creative ending 😉 Finally the gnat knows how it feels when they invade our personal space-yucky!Also loved the image of the gnat with a Mohawk-very hip and rocking 😀
I have to confess that it wasn’t the gnat with the Mowhawk. He just got trapped in the one he landed in. But I’m so pleased my misdirection was so successful. Thanks!
janet
Ohh..I was totally fooled 🙂
Ye Olde Misdierection trick, huh? Whist else you got up your sleeve, Janet?
Just my arm, Helena. 🙂
I imagine hair gel would be quite a viscous substance.This is really funny, Janet!
Thanks, Amy. Glad you enjoyed it.
janet
That was a very clever little story.
Thanks, Liz. Glad you liked it!
janet
funny story and a good one! your character hopefully found some time to be grateful it was not head lice roaming around in the Mohawk. 😛
Good story. Big gnat?
Gnat-sized gnat, big Mohawk. Just something that might happen in real life but to a gnat, all that hair would seem like a forest.
janet
LOL. So wonderfully set-up. I had no idea of the POV and loved finding out. Wonderfully written and lots of fun.
Sarah, thanks for letting me know how much you enjoyed the story. That always means a lot and it’s good to know when a story works.
janet
Nice twist
Thanks, Etienne. I felt like a bit of humor with that one. Tomorrow, who knows?
janet
Funny twist (or should I say curl?!). I love it when a writer turns an expected scene on its ear!
Leigh, thanks for reading and commenting. Humor took me by the throat last week and just wouldn’t let go. I’m happy it worked. 🙂
janet
ah, that was crazy! The twist/ending was completely unexpected. 🙂
🙂