Friday Fictioneers: I Remember Skies

Posted: April 9, 2014 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , ,

The seemingly simple premise of Friday Fictioneers is that a photo serves as the inspiration for a story of a mere 100-words.
But then the fun starts.  What part of the photo do you choose?  Do you use the photo in the story or as a jumping-off idea for something completely different?  Dialogue?  Historical fiction?  A story torn from the headlines of the day?
The sky is the proverbial limit.

At the end of my story is the link that will take you to the page with links to all the stories.  So if you’d like to read what other authors have seen in the photo, click there and then dip into what’s on offer

Dee (2)copyright DLovering

I Remember Skies*

I recall the glittering canopy of stars when I

…slept in the tree house with my best friend.

…shinnied up that tree to sneak through my window, avoiding grounding.

…reclined, awash in music and love, at our first-date outdoor concert.

…lay next to you, sated and laughing, in a mountain meadow on our honeymoon.

…camped in the backyard with you and the children.

…thought I’d die from the grief of your death.

In hospice I can’t see the stars. But I know soon I’ll be seeing them again with you.
.
.
.
.
.
Letting go now. It’s time.

 

 

************************

*With thanks to The Moody Blues and “Your Wildest Dreams”

Comments
  1. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Janet,

    Mmmmm, very nice.

    Aloha,

    Doug

  2. Hala J. says:

    This was awash in so much feeling—a steady ladder one climbs where you know more and more about this person’s love. Wonderful!

  3. atrm61 says:

    Oh Janet,this was so soulfully beautiful-loved the structure and how you encapsulated a whole lifetime in just 100 words-kudos!!

  4. Once again a great take on the seemingly simple list with a common denominator.. a complete life drawn when drawing a line between the dots.

  5. elappleby says:

    Sweet, sad and cleverly done. I really enjoyed this.

    • Thanks, EL. When Bill read it this morning, he said, “Another sad one,” but I didn’t feel it was sad. Life goes by, hers was good and she’s ready to leave. We should all be so blessed.

      janet

  6. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

    Janet,

    This is poetic and sad. Snippets of thoughts and memories. I enjoyed it.

    Helena

    • Sorry no one was murdered, Helena, but at least there was death. 🙂 As I said to EL, I’m not sure it is sad. A good life, much love and being ready to go doesn’t sound bad to me.

      janet

  7. wmqcolby says:

    (sniff) So beautiful, Janet. Poetry in motion. 🙂

  8. Such a sequence to lure the reader in – then POW. Excellent

  9. Very tragically powerful Janet

    • Thanks, Hamish, but don’t you think it would be difficult to have a better life? Maybe if her husband had lived longer, but seems as though she lived and loved well and is now ready to die well.

      janet

      • I’m not sure. You are right to give that message in this tale, and the story you presented is one a producer would look at as a synopsis, for sure – and of course it is a tale, albeit with a message. One can’t argue the happy life part nor the message. I saw tragedy by relating it to events around me, and the word ‘hospice’ brought the tragic twist for me. Actually if I was a producer or director I would want the ambiguity, but your character showed great dignity, courage, faith and a wonderful selflessness. Maybe she was right to think that. I think so. Your story was so well-written that it brought home those in hospices much younger. Which reinforces what you are saying, in many ways. But I’m beating round the bush. Cancer is becoming an epidemic and we recently lost a 21 year old woman where the final days in the hospice were so full of tragedy there are no words. My comment makes your story more powerful, as she is a woman with such a big heart and good soul she is able to look back. But I did relate it also to Sintija, the woman I mentioned, and it brings forward the debate to me, the importance, perhaps, of religion as a positive force, a new thought for this rebel, and a reconsideration of medical marijuana in Europe.

      • Hamish, this is a perfect example of each of us seeing the story from our perspective and both being correct. It also means I did something right in writing a story that could span different expectations and experiences. You know that as a Christian I believe in religion as a powerful force. As for medical marijuana, from what I’ve read, there are times when it’s very helpful. I don’t really know that state of it in Europe, another thing to look into when I have a bit more time.

        This is one of the things I most enjoy about blogging and FF–the willingness of people to talk and engage and the ability to talk with people I wouldn’t meet in the course of my life without the internet. I always enjoy talking with you, even if we don’t agree. But as you once said, I think we agree on much more than either of us might have suspected when first we met. 🙂 Hopefully we’ll be able to actually meet in France this summer, which would be so much fun.

        janet

  10. Bittersweet romance. Watch out Nicholas Sparks.

  11. pinchmuhbutt says:

    At least they’ll be with each other soon 🙂 That had so much packed in it from the beginning to the end. You took us through their entire life together…. Awesomeness!

  12. Lovely passage of time. Thank you. Very well done.

  13. Judah First says:

    This one brought the tears. Missing my sister very much these days… When I was a kid, one of my favorite things to do was to lie in the front yard grass watching clouds float by – and, of course, finding pictures in them.

  14. This made me sad and happy at the same time, good job!

  15. helenmidgley says:

    The cadence in this was beautiful, cleverly done 🙂

  16. Sandra says:

    Some lovely memories there, and nicely structure. Well done.

  17. brainsnorts says:

    can you do me a favor? in this line, “…’ll be seeing them again with you.” can you think about adding a comma or something after “again”? the “with you” is very important, of course, and a little bit of a pause before it will allow it to partly stand out a little more. like a dramatic pause. think about it. this was great.

    • I’ve read it both ways and both seem to work. I’ll revisit it after a bit of lunch. I think the emphasis changes slightly but that doesn’t mean it would be a bad or worse change. Either way, I’m glad you liked the story and appreciate your thoughts on it.

      janet

  18. I wish someone painted a sky on a ceiling for her. But I suspect she didn’t need it. Sometimes we just know when is the time to let go. Lovely story.

    • That’s a lovely thought! What if everyone confined to bed was allowed to choose what to have on their ceiling, whether painted or not? How wonderful that would be! (Expensive and time-consuming, too, probably, but…)

  19. Wow, you’ve given me the shivers Janet. A perfect little gem back to you!

  20. DCTdesigns says:

    Janet, This was lovely in the melancholy way you took us through her life and love.

  21. I found this to be very peaceful.

  22. Lovely story, Janet. That is the way most of us would choose to go, with happy memories and peacefully. I don’t see it as sad either. Good music. 🙂

    • I love that Moody Blues song, Patricia! I’m glad you did, too. I’ve been know to crank it really high and sing along, at least when I’m alone. 🙂 I’m glad you liked the story as well, of course!

      janet

  23. Emilio Pasquale says:

    An entire life in 100 words. Unbelievably beautiful. And a perfect ending!

  24. Dear Janet,

    Lovely. Life cycle and the history of a beautiful friendship. Happy or sad depending on your point of view. 😉 I’ve read it three times now and it just gets better.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  25. y. prior says:

    very cool…….

  26. subroto says:

    Lovely story and a great song to go with it. Thanks for both.

  27. El Guapo says:

    A beautiful eulogy to be, with the perfect musical accompaniment.
    I enjoyed this a lot.

  28. Well done, Janet! Lovely and heart-wrenching! We took similar paths this week.

  29. This literally brought tears to my eyes. Only a couple of stories have done this to me, and certainly not one of only 100 words. This is just one of those stories that is so moving that there is little left to say. You had me at the glittering canopy of stars… The delayed last line gave even more weight to the memories, but it was a bittersweet ending. This is absolutely outstanding. Thank you so much for writing it!

  30. This is really beautiful, Janet. I work at Hospice, and reading this brought several wonderful patients to mind… those final hours (days), when they remember so many things and drift in and out of those memories. Really bittersweet.

  31. Wow, Janet, even though I’m way, way too young to relate to any of those stages of life beyond “reclined, awash in music and love at our first date,” what an impact!

  32. I so loved this. Warmed my heart no end….

    Jolly

  33. plaridel says:

    how sweet. commitment is key to a great relationship.

  34. Nan Falkner says:

    Oh Janet, this is so beautiful! Life is so short and before you realize it. Such a poignant piece. Good for you! Great job! Nan 🙂

  35. Anita says:

    Really touching, Janet.
    I liked it as it ends with hope to meet our loved one after their death… Then, see the stars together!!! WOW!

  36. I love the list structure and your use of it was superlative, Janet.

  37. Really poignant. And a great structure.

  38. K.Z. says:

    this was really lovely.. such beautiful memories. she lived a happy life.

  39. Jim Kane says:

    A good story Janet and you gave it an extra good push with the Moody Blues clip!
    Thank you
    Regards
    Jim

  40. unspywriter says:

    A whole, incredible life captured in so few words–lovely and poignant.

    Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/memento-mori/

  41. scrbwly says:

    kinda bitter-sweet. well-written

  42. Carrie says:

    sweet and nostalgic.

  43. Bryan Ens says:

    gut-wrenchingly powerful poem. Sad, but so beautifully written

  44. jwdwrites says:

    Hi Janet, I liked this story a lot because it made me feel. It’s not so important if it makes me happy or sad but I do like to feel something when I read. You gave me several emotions in 100 words so well done. 🙂

  45. rgayer55 says:

    This one made me feel good. It touches a lot of emotional chords.

  46. draliman says:

    Calm acceptance at the end of a long and full life. Lovely!

  47. Sarah Ann says:

    Such beautiful sentiments lovingly told. I love the format allowing for all those memories. You do a love story so well.

    • I’m basically an loving optimist (except sometimes while driving), Sarah Ann. I think that’s what colors much of my writing. I’m glad you liked the format, too. It’s a combination of expediency and a bent toward poetry.

      janet

  48. storydivamg says:

    I like the way this rounds out with a full circle of life in the end.

    MG

  49. AnnIsikArts says:

    There’s a circle at the top of that canopy thing through which one sees the sky. I see the completeness of a circle in your poem and I’m glad your character sees that kind of completeness as she nears her end. I doubt I will! Great, thoughtful, poignant writing. 🙂

  50. rheath40 says:

    I felt every word and saw every star with her. A sad story, but wonderful all the same. Just, beautiful.

    Love, Renee

    • Happy Saturday, Renee. Lovely to have you drop by and even more so that you liked the post. Hope your recovery is going well. So thankful you weren’t even more badly injured!

      janet

      • rheath40 says:

        I’m doing better every day my dear. It could have been worse but I’m tired of the wheelchair already. Giggle.

        The story was lovely. I didn’t write about romance this time. It was good to see you did. Sad, but happy. If that makes sense.

        Love, Renee

  51. Alice Audrey says:

    You managed to pack a lifetime into this one.

  52. You really make it easy to experience the flashback & the sorrow

  53. Miles Rost says:

    An excellent pick of music at the end, and the story captures an essence that is very poignant. Excellent work! 😀

  54. Dee says:

    Janet I love the flashback of their life together. I found the story both sad and uplifting at the same time.
    Just lovely
    Dee

  55. So touching. And I Love the Moody Blues…

  56. Wow, this was so full of feeling. I loved it, loved the way you built it up to a culmination.

  57. Sun says:

    a childhood friendship that lives forever. so love this story! beautiful.

  58. Heartwarming despite the sadness

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