The Journey: life in eight haiku (a reprise)

Posted: June 19, 2014 in Friday Fictioneers, Poetry
Tags: , , , ,

Just under two years ago, my Friday Fictioneers story was told in eight haiku, adding up to exactly one hundred words as well.  As I’ve learned more about haiku and written more, I’ve come to consider them the flash fiction of poetry, an attempt to tell a story in very few words a/o syllables.  I realize the generally the last line of a haiku isn’t connected to directly to the other two lines as mine are here.  But I’m still happy with what I produced.  It’s not easy to get the correct number of syllables, one hundred words and eight haiku that make sense and make a story that makes sense!   If you want to see the photo that inspired the story, you can click on the highlighted link.  Otherwise, just enjoy the journey here.

The Journey
Life in eight haiku

young and filled with hope
gentle smooth wide path beckons
birds singing in trees

walking together
joyful talk with much laughter
sturdy trees grow close

dangerous trail now
so slippery and narrow
easy to plunge off

when I trip or fall
your hands help me rise again
sun’s rays warm us both

dark verdant foliage
tempting us to turn aside
onto wayward path

weary from our walk
searching for flowered meadow
welcome refreshment

dark clouds overhead
continuing side by side
weathering the storms

long journey ending
we reach the top together
home awaits us there

  1. Indira says:

    I loved your Haiku. It’s a tough job, no?

  2. Lucy says:

    That was excellent. I can’t do Haiku to save my life. And you did it in 100 words. Very well done. Lucy

    • Thanks, Lucy. I just started doing haiku in the last few year and only a little until recently. It’s fun to see what you can come up with and reading a lot of them helps. 🙂


  3. Bastet says:


    Lovely haiku and very well written … my favorite was:

    dangerous trail now
    so slippery and narrow
    easy to plunge off

    Though each has it’s own special beauty. I’ve come to think of flash fiction as the haiku of prose 😉


  4. Excellent Janet. The journey in haiku story telling is fun isn’t it. I can tell you are enjoying. Haiku rather than being restrictive is expansive …

    • Glad you liked it. When I did this, I hadn’t done much haiku and looking at it now, I’m amazed I could do both the haiku and the 100 words. 🙂 But I do enjoy haiku.


  5. Sarah Ann says:

    A beautiful picture of a long-term relationship. I particularly liked the last two haiku – the standing side by side, weathering the storms and coming home to a peaceful resolution. And so clever. I hate to think how long it took to combine all the elements 🙂

    • I don’t really remember how long it took, Sarah. Maybe it’s like labor–you forget once it’s over. 🙂 I don’t know that I’d dare try it again, but you never know.


  6. sandraconner says:

    This piece is so beautiful, Janet. And what a master you are to have done this all in 100 words!

What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, that or the other thing.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.