Friday Fictioneers…Forever, Love (Three years later)

Posted: October 21, 2015 in Friday Fictioneers
Tags: , , , ,

Has it really been three years already?  Evidently so, although it’s difficult to believe.  I’m reprising my entire post, opening paragraph and all.  A bit of nostalgia, followed by a bit of….well, that would be giving it away.

Friday Fictioneers says good-bye to creator Madison Woods this week and hello to our new home with Rochelle Wisoff (no “h’)-Fields, http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/. Madison, we hope to read your stories often; Rochelle, thanks for taking up the torch. Now sit back and enjoy the read. As always, click on the little icon at the end to access all the stories. Oh, yes…thanks, Ron, for the picture.

copyright-Ron-Pruitt-300x240

Forever, Love

Their f­­­irst trip to their daughter’s as new citizens and their 60th anniversary. Truly a special day! He smiled at his wife; took her hand. He knew she really didn’t look the same as when they met, but that’s what his heart saw. Thinking of their grandchildren, he tightened his grasp; chuckled.

Last stop before they arrived. Only a few people got off, including the young man who’d been sitting in front of them. As the bus started, he noticed the forgotten backpack. Perhaps they could stop. He called to the driver, “Excuse…”

.

.

.

Bus Explodes—Terrorism Suspected
Over 80 dead

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Comments
  1. Oh how shocking. Very well done.

  2. it’s a sad end… but I imagine it can happen exactly that way…

  3. HonieBriggs says:

    My first words, oh geez, but then I remembered it fiction. It is, right? Very nice shock value.

  4. Sandra says:

    Even more evocative, three years down the line. Nicely done Janet.

    • Thanks, Sandra. Three years ago I was doing mostly writing on my blog, now I seem to be doing mostly photography. There are still words whirling around in my head, even writing themselves, but my life seems to be so busy that I don’t have time to get them out. Have to make more of an effort.

      janet

  5. Oh, I wasn’t expecting that. You have a way – a clever way – of springing things on us (I actually didn’t need the very last two lines to work out what had happened.)

  6. I must have read it.. but I had forgotten the shocking end.. the contrast between the sweet old couple and the cruelty of terrorism made me almost cry out…

  7. This has so much impact. Wow. Don’t do that!

  8. Dear Janet,

    I remember this piece all too well. It hasn’t lost its impact in three years. And I’m happy that yours is one of the lasting friendships to come out of this long bus ride.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  9. gahlearner says:

    Beautiful story with a killer twist. So sad, and sadly close to reality.

  10. I didn’t see that coming – sadly nor did they. A tale of our times.

    Visit Keith’s Ramblings!

    • Probably better not to see it coming, rather than having to decide whether to jump or burn ala the Twin Towers. I wish it were a fiction tale, but alas, as you say, a tale of our times.

      Heading to your place shortly. Thanks for the visit and comment.

      janet

  11. Well, ouch. What a twist. I’m glad his last thoughts were kind. Alicia

  12. Interesting story Janet. It was nice to see it from the perspective of the other victims. And you can imagine the impact on the families left behind

  13. Kat Myrman says:

    WOW!!! Didn’t see that one coming! Good ending! 🙂

  14. Adam Ickes says:

    A sad look at a less than ideal world. This one could just as easily be classified as non-fiction.

  15. Dale says:

    Oh! You would think a left-behind backpack would have me thinking… but I was still shocked. Well done!

  16. Go ahead and wreck my positive mood, Janet, why don’t ya? Quite a surprise at the end; well, 60 anniversaries is pretty good still.

  17. draliman says:

    What a shocking ending! Blimey. Good story!

  18. ceayr says:

    Great piece of writing, with stunning denouement.

  19. rgayer55 says:

    This ending is as shocking now as it was three years ago. I’m glad you reposted it.

    You’re one of the few people who would actually offered critique to help a person improve their craft. I’ve always appreciated that.

    Tell Bill I said “Hi.”

  20. What a build-up to a horrifying tragedy! Beautifully and heartbreakingly narrated!

  21. plaridel says:

    a special day turned to horror. how sad.

  22. Brilliant build up, excellent story, didn’t see the end coming.

  23. dmmacilroy says:

    Dear Janet,

    Stands the test of time. Well done.

    Yours,

    Doug

  24. Amy Reese says:

    Oh yes, Janet, I remember this story, and it still had the moment of surprise for me. Very well done! It is still as shocking as the first time I read it.

  25. rogershipp says:

    So sad that this can really happen! I was as unprepared for your ending of the story as the riders of your bus! Well done!

  26. MythRider says:

    Darn. I was hoping for a happier ending.
    I guess that’s what terrorism is all about. No happy endings.

  27. Indira says:

    Nicely written. It can happen any day. We live under that threat everyday.

  28. Oh, what a shocker! Sadly, some things don’t change.

  29. Heartbreaking ending, but sadly realistic these days. Well written, Janet. — Suzanne

  30. Well done. That was unexpected and hit me with the force of the explosion. At least they went out holding hands. Very powerful.

  31. Margaret says:

    Chilling. How sad that this is an everyday reality in some parts of the world, and a possibility everywhere, as your story shows.

  32. […] week while reading some 100 word stories from the Friday Fictioneers I came across Janet’s. The story was touching but even more so our comments […]

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