Has it really been three years already? Evidently so, although it’s difficult to believe. I’m reprising my entire post, opening paragraph and all. A bit of nostalgia, followed by a bit of….well, that would be giving it away.
Friday Fictioneers says good-bye to creator Madison Woods this week and hello to our new home with Rochelle Wisoff (no “h’)-Fields, http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/. Madison, we hope to read your stories often; Rochelle, thanks for taking up the torch. Now sit back and enjoy the read. As always, click on the little icon at the end to access all the stories. Oh, yes…thanks, Ron, for the picture.
Forever, Love
Their first trip to their daughter’s as new citizens and their 60th anniversary. Truly a special day! He smiled at his wife; took her hand. He knew she really didn’t look the same as when they met, but that’s what his heart saw. Thinking of their grandchildren, he tightened his grasp; chuckled.
Last stop before they arrived. Only a few people got off, including the young man who’d been sitting in front of them. As the bus started, he noticed the forgotten backpack. Perhaps they could stop. He called to the driver, “Excuse…”
.
.
.
Bus Explodes—Terrorism Suspected
Over 80 dead
This, that and the other thing 
Oh how shocking. Very well done.
Thanks. I wish it still weren’t timely three years later.
janet
it’s a sad end… but I imagine it can happen exactly that way…
Unfortunately, it has. Thanks for taking time to comment.
janet
My first words, oh geez, but then I remembered it fiction. It is, right? Very nice shock value.
Honie, I certainly wish such things never happened, but they do, although not this particular story. Thanks for sharing part of your Wednesday with me.
janet
Even more evocative, three years down the line. Nicely done Janet.
Thanks, Sandra. Three years ago I was doing mostly writing on my blog, now I seem to be doing mostly photography. There are still words whirling around in my head, even writing themselves, but my life seems to be so busy that I don’t have time to get them out. Have to make more of an effort.
janet
Oh, I wasn’t expecting that. You have a way – a clever way – of springing things on us (I actually didn’t need the very last two lines to work out what had happened.)
To use the last two lines or not? That was and is the question. Either way, I’m glad you enjoyed the story. It’s always seemed to me that most of us FF work at getting a twist at the end of our story. That means that the real twist is not having one, right? 🙂
janet
Hah! I think you might be right…
I agree with Claire. Last two lines not needed. If you can’t work it out from the rest then you don’t deserve to get spoon fed the answer.
ps. Good to see you back.
Paddling myself with said spoon. Thanks for the welcome back. I’m trying to be around more.
janet
I must have read it.. but I had forgotten the shocking end.. the contrast between the sweet old couple and the cruelty of terrorism made me almost cry out…
That’s a compliment I cherish, Bjorn. Thanks.
janet
This has so much impact. Wow. Don’t do that!
I wish no one did this sort of thing, Patrick, but I know what you mean. Thanks.
janet
Dear Janet,
I remember this piece all too well. It hasn’t lost its impact in three years. And I’m happy that yours is one of the lasting friendships to come out of this long bus ride.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks and I feel the same. 🙂
janet
Beautiful story with a killer twist. So sad, and sadly close to reality.
I wish it were pure fiction!
janet
I didn’t see that coming – sadly nor did they. A tale of our times.
Visit Keith’s Ramblings!
Probably better not to see it coming, rather than having to decide whether to jump or burn ala the Twin Towers. I wish it were a fiction tale, but alas, as you say, a tale of our times.
Heading to your place shortly. Thanks for the visit and comment.
janet
Well, ouch. What a twist. I’m glad his last thoughts were kind. Alicia
Interesting story Janet. It was nice to see it from the perspective of the other victims. And you can imagine the impact on the families left behind
WOW!!! Didn’t see that one coming! Good ending! 🙂
Thanks, Kat. I appreciate your visit, comment, and follow. 🙂 Always nice to meet new people.
janet
A sad look at a less than ideal world. This one could just as easily be classified as non-fiction.
You’re right, Adam, unfortunately. So good to “see” you. I hope you and your family are doing well.
janet
Oh! You would think a left-behind backpack would have me thinking… but I was still shocked. Well done!
Thanks, Dale. I’m glad you liked it.
janet
Go ahead and wreck my positive mood, Janet, why don’t ya? Quite a surprise at the end; well, 60 anniversaries is pretty good still.
What? You had a positive mood? 🙂 Yeah, this sort of thing does wreck one’s day. Thanks for dropping in, Perry.
janet
Explosive prose.
Punny. Thanks. 🙂
janet
What a shocking ending! Blimey. Good story!
Great piece of writing, with stunning denouement.
This ending is as shocking now as it was three years ago. I’m glad you reposted it.
You’re one of the few people who would actually offered critique to help a person improve their craft. I’ve always appreciated that.
Tell Bill I said “Hi.”
What a build-up to a horrifying tragedy! Beautifully and heartbreakingly narrated!
Thanks so much. I wish nothing like this ever happened, but unfortunately it does. Appreciate the visit and comment.
janet
a special day turned to horror. how sad.
True, Plaridel. Any day would be a bad day for this, but on such a special one, it’s worse.
janet
Brilliant build up, excellent story, didn’t see the end coming.
Thanks a lot, Cheryl. I appreciate your visit and comment.
janet
Dear Janet,
Stands the test of time. Well done.
Yours,
Doug
Thanks, Doug. It made my heart happy to see you here. Hope all’s well.
janet
Oh yes, Janet, I remember this story, and it still had the moment of surprise for me. Very well done! It is still as shocking as the first time I read it.
So sad that this can really happen! I was as unprepared for your ending of the story as the riders of your bus! Well done!
I hate tragedy.
Randy
Randy, at least it was only 100 words. 😉
janet
Now that’s comedic. 😉
I like that and it was only 8 words.
Darn. I was hoping for a happier ending.
I guess that’s what terrorism is all about. No happy endings.
So true. The drunk driver episode at Oklahoma State, although not terrorism, was horrible.
janet
Yes.
Nicely written. It can happen any day. We live under that threat everyday.
Unfortunately true, Indira, and more so in some places than others.
janet
Oh my…
Tragedy is everywhere, Dawn. I was horrified by what happened at Oklahoma State’s homecoming this weekend. Drunk drivers do so much damage, but this was particularly horrific.
janet
True…even the young woman who was driving…a victim to poor decisions…and her family…
Not to take anything away from the victims. Yes, a horrible tragedy.
It’s horrible all around. So many lives changed forever.
My 23 y/o went to James Madison’s Homecoming this weekend. Of course we had a talk about responsibility and making good decisions before he left but after this happened, we had another one.
Oh, what a shocker! Sadly, some things don’t change.
I know. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment as well. Happy Tuesday.
janet
Heartbreaking ending, but sadly realistic these days. Well written, Janet. — Suzanne
Thanks, Suzanne. I’m glad you liked it.
janet
Well done. That was unexpected and hit me with the force of the explosion. At least they went out holding hands. Very powerful.
Thanks very much, Irene. For many people it would be better to go this way and not be the one left alone.
janet
Chilling. How sad that this is an everyday reality in some parts of the world, and a possibility everywhere, as your story shows.
Yes, Margaret it’s sad and unlikely to change in the near future.
janet
[…] week while reading some 100 word stories from the Friday Fictioneers I came across Janet’s. The story was touching but even more so our comments […]