Language abuse: spelling misteaks

Posted: September 4, 2018 in Humor, Just for fun
Tags: , , , , , ,

Spelling is often abused, not always with humorous outcomes, although auto correct has its moments.  However, these spelling bloopers might, to quote a famous rock group, “make a grown man cry.”  I suppose now it should read “make a grown person cry”, but as they say: “Whatever!”

  1. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
  2. Vestal virgins were pure and chased.
  3. In Pittsburgh they manufacture iron and steal.  (Dan, is that true???)
  4. They gave William IV a lovely funeral.  It took six men to carry the beer.  (Seems like “Dilly, dilly” should be the response.)
  5. To celebrate at feasts, the inhabitants of old England sometimes cut the head off the biggest bore and carried it around on a platter.
  6. Carats, 2 for 39 cents.
  7. Please leave your umbrella and goulashes here.  (Is that cultural appropriation?)
  8. She had a seizure–her third one–and she fell and went unconscious.  She was in a comma and she never woke up.
  9. Editors and Proff Readers–Must be good in spelling and grammar.  (We can see why!)
  10. Mr. and Mrs. Garth Robinson request the honor of your presents at the marriage of their daughter Holly to Mr. James Stockman.  (That’s why you invite 300 of your closest friends, right?)

Again, all from Anguished English, by Richard Lederer.  Please, if you don’t buy it, at  least check it out (literally as well as figuratively) from the library!

 

Comments
  1. restlessjo says:

    They are funny, aren’t they? And often with a ring of truth! I’m sure those Vestal virgins must have been chased. 🙂 🙂 Have a great week, Janet!

  2. awww…. the police has a hard job in Pittsburgh ;o)

  3. Hi J. What about all the incorrect spelling in common USA usage? Color (should be ‘colour’), harbor (should be ‘harbour’), Organise (should be ‘organize’). Etc. Etc. Seems that since you got your independence you guys can’t spell for nuts! And the bloody auto-corrects are all pointing us in the USA spelling direction. Strooth!!!

    • I guess it’s just youth rebelling against age, MB. I plead guilty to color and harbor, but I use organize. Auto-correct seems to me to be a pain no matter where you are but watt due eye no? 🙂

    • Well, I’m not too sure of the accuracy behind my statement, but there were two movements that caused a decrease in the letters in English words in American standard English. Some printing companies would charge by the letter and if you can’t hear the “u” in colour then why should it still be there. Also, there was a slight dictionary movement to simplify the English language like instead of “women” people would spell it as “wimmen.”

      • Maybe we Americans, just being the rebellious types, decided to go away from the English spelling. Ha! Pretty sure that’s not the reason, but… Thanks for chiming in, Siyona.

        janet

      • No problem, as a former speller, I’ve probably spent hours of time just scrolling through random words and comparing them to their “English English” spellings. Old spellings and texts before spelling was standardized slightly are a bit hard on the eyes.

  4. Dan Antion says:

    Hmmm, we used to make iron, but I don’t recall much stealing. I’m glad I’m not following the Pittsburgh Stealers.

    We did have a colorful radio announcer in the 60s and 70s who was famous for giving people nicknames and making up silly sayings. He dubbed one of our baseball players the Pittsburgh Stealer” for having the most stolen bases one season and he followed that by calling one of the defensive players on the Steelers, the Pittsburgh Pirate after racking up a few interceptions.

    Spell check has saved me on occasion and has gotten me into trouble on others. These were fun to read.

    • The Cleveland football fans might think it’s Stealers, but that aside, I like the announcers made-up names. Clever and appropos. Glad you liked these, Dan, and have a wonderful Tuesday. (Have to keep reminding myself it’s Tuesday, not Monday.

      janet

  5. Sherry Felix says:

    This is fun. I’ll share one from my collection. My sister and I were in a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.”

  6. JT Twissel says:

    Very funny! I loved the bore one.

  7. Number 5 cracked me up! These were all good though.

  8. de Wets Wild says:

    I really hope you are going to continue this series for as long as possible, Janet, as it really is such a tonic in the middle of the week!

  9. Really funny! My friend and I spoke about this the other day!

  10. joey says:

    Hehee! Goulash is excellent on a rainy day! 😉

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