Language abuse: spelling misteaks

Spelling is often abused, not always with humorous outcomes, although auto correct has its moments.  However, these spelling bloopers might, to quote a famous rock group, “make a grown man cry.”  I suppose now it should read “make a grown person cry”, but as they say: “Whatever!”

1. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
2. Vestal virgins were pure and chased.
3. In Pittsburgh they manufacture iron and steal.  (Dan, is that true???)
4. They gave William IV a lovely funeral.  It took six men to carry the beer.  (Seems like “Dilly, dilly” should be the response.)
5. To celebrate at feasts, the inhabitants of old England sometimes cut the head off the biggest bore and carried it around on a platter.
6. Carats, 2 for 39 cents.
7. Please leave your umbrella and goulashes here.  (Is that cultural appropriation?)
8. She had a seizure–her third one–and she fell and went unconscious.  She was in a comma and she never woke up.
9. Editors and Proff Readers–Must be good in spelling and grammar.  (We can see why!)
10. Mr. and Mrs. Garth Robinson request the honor of your presents at the marriage of their daughter Holly to Mr. James Stockman.  (That’s why you invite 300 of your closest friends, right?)

Again, all from Anguished English, by Richard Lederer.  Please, if you don’t buy it, at  least check it out (literally as well as figuratively) from the library!