Language abuse: one letter, new meaning

Posted: November 6, 2018 in Words
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Three Dog Night may think that “One is the loneliest number”, but in this case, one is the funniest number.  We’re back with the 2013 Washington Post again, this time with their Style Invitational.  Here’s how it works.  And yes, once again I was laughing out loud!

The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

The winners were:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an ……..

  1. love it!!! sometimes it feels like Karmageddon, but I hope my hipatitis wins and I can reach the sky to leave some giraffiti there…

  2. ksbeth says:

    i love wordplay! these are so good –

  3. Tish Farrell says:

    Isn’t language wonderful – the things you can do with it!

  4. macmsue says:

    More LOL here!

  5. happyface313 says:

    🙂 Janet, I love these!!!
    I learn every time I read them. And I lough even harder.
    The last one is excellent. I will remember to tell somebody some day what an “Ignoranus” he or she is 😀
    Have a fun filled HAPPY day!
    Claudia 🙂

  6. Joanne Sisco says:

    ALL of these are brilliant!! LOVE them! I didn’t think I would be able to pick out a favourite until I got to #12. That – and #1 – had me laughing out loud 🤣

  7. Dan Antion says:

    Those are hilarious, Janet! I think I know people who inspired 12 and 16.

  8. Thanks for the morning chuckle, Janet. #5 is at the top of my list of favs.

  9. scr4pl80 says:

    Fabulous! Thanks for starting my day out with a laugh.

  10. belocchio says:

    Ignoranus! I just knew there was a word for certain people. Thanks to you and Washington Post I have found it. Quite a few smiles and a generous amount of snickers, Janet. Cheers Virginia

  11. great stuff.

    I find when I overeat, I get a bad case of fatulence.


  12. de Wets Wild says:

    Beelzebug regularly appears in our bedroom at night…

  13. LOL! Those are funny. I have done that Arachnoleptic fit before. It’s ewww, so ewww! I like 1, 12, ,3 and 13. Thanks for the morning laugh!

  14. joey says:

    Fabulous! I love these 🙂 2 & 3 are my favorites!

  15. Prior... says:

    This was fun! My favs are 4, 6, and 7

  16. Really funny!! Love it!