Language abuse…accident(al) bloopers

Posted: March 12, 2019 in Words
Tags: , , , , , ,

It’s Tuesday and after a foray into the world of superior words (did anyone use one of the words) last week, we’re back to a selection from Anguished English.  Last week, I came across my copy of More Anguished English, so we should be set for some time.  🙂  Hopefully that news elicits joyful sounds, not anguished ones!

The following jewels are from insurance reports, where drivers were asked to report their incidents in the fewest words possible.  In many cases, the extra words would have been worth it!

Possibly an unsolvable hit-and-run!

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

Persistence pays off in these next two.

The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

Not something you see every day!!

The accident happened when the right front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal.

My car sustained no damage whatsoever and the other car somewhat less.

I would have loved to have seen this one.  It gives the term “footloose” an entirely different meaning!

One wheel went into the ditch.  My foot jumped from brake to accelerator, leaped across the road to the other side, and jumped into the trunk of a tree.

I’m surprised this didn’t happen soon!!  I’ve driven 16 hours a time, but never 40 years!

I had been driving for about 40 years, when I fell sleep at the wheel and had an accident.

This might be my favorite, at least if I don’t read over all the rest. I’m left wondering which of them had the rear end trouble, but not at all  amazed that you’d have an accident if your universal joint gave way!  I must have forgotten that part from my anatomy class.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

May you have an uneventful week, with no rear end or universal joint problems!

Disclaimer:  As usual on a Tuesday (and Wednesday), I have to work all day, so excuse any lateness getting to your blog post. It’s not that I don’t want to get there, it’s sometimes that I just don’t have time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments
  1. oooh I bet the driver of that invisible car was one of that invisible people only the boys can see when they start a barkfest… I’m impressed, they really exist ;O)

  2. Prior... says:

    thanks for the belly laugh – your comments added to it as well

  3. Dan Antion says:

    Thanks for starting my day with a few laughs, Janet

  4. atimetoshare.me says:

    Thanks for the morning chuckle. You made my day❤️

  5. I sure hope my universal joint stats intact and my car doors and wheels stay in place too.

    These were funny.

  6. happyface313 says:

    🙂 Thanks for these new bloopers, Janet!
    They made my evening.
    Now I think I’m in the spirit to write a blog post… 😀 Hehehe!
    You have a very uneventful week, too!
    Claudia xo

    • The week’s started off well, Claudia, and as I have a birthday at the end of it, I think it will be a very good week. Glad to help you get in the mood to do a blog post. 🙂

      janet

  7. The first one is a pip. Thanks for the chuckle today.
    Ω

  8. de Wets Wild says:

    I had my biggest laughs at the plight of those poor pedestrians! 😀
    And who among us can say that they’ve never driven around with their mother-in-law and contemplated just driving over the embankment..?
    Thank you, Janet, for brightening another day with these!

    • As I’ve mentioned before, this book has to be one of my favorites. It can make me laugh out loud in only a few sentences. That’s a good thing and it’s not cruel humor, that way so much “humor” is these days.

      It makes me happy that you enjoy these so much.

  9. Su Leslie says:

    You know how much I love these Janet. Thanks for a lovely morning chuckle.

  10. Your collections of bloopers are always a refreshing respite from a too-serious world. Never knowing which direction the quotes will go, I always chuckle. The people of the world need to laugh more – and you definitely play a role via these posts!

    • That makes me happy to read, Lisa. I know I won’t get as many likes on these posts (they require time to read, not just a quick “like” after seeing a photo), but so many people really enjoy them, so I’m happy to keep doing them. Making people smile a/o laugh is something that makes me happy as well. 🙂

      janet

  11. dweezer19 says:

    I LOVE the last one. 🤣

What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, that or the other thing.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.