In the manner of haiku

Posted: April 12, 2022 in Poetry
Tags: , , , ,

Haiku has a 5-7-5 pattern but this poem has a 7-5-8 pattern. Using “can’t” instead of “cannot” would hit the 7 mark, but I like the feel and flow of cannot. Haiku is much more complicate if you want to do it correctly but that’s not my purpose. This has a haiku feel and that’s all I’m aiming for today.

Lethargy overtakes me

The world passes by

I cannot rouse myself to care

  1. Inckitten says:

    I read the use of “cannot” instead of “ can’t” as adding the feeling of wanting to be jolted out of the lethargy despite the last line. “can’t” gives the impression of surrender. But I think you mean to use cannot for emphasis of an inability to do something

  2. Dan Antion says:

    Janku – it’s a good form.

  3. JT Twissel says:

    Nicely done – sometimes a contraction just doesn’t work.

  4. Sometimes days like are just what’s needed. Good Janku!

    I loved the postcard!! I will reply snail mail. 🥰

  5. Leya says:

    Well done – I like it.

  6. Hammad Rais says:

    Lovely one, Janet 🙂

What do you think? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, that or the other thing.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.