Language abuse: spelling misteaks

Spelling is often abused, not always with humorous outcomes, although auto correct has its moments.  However, these spelling bloopers might, to quote a famous rock group, “make a grown man cry.”  I suppose now it should read “make a grown person cry”, but as they say: “Whatever!”

1. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
2. Vestal virgins were pure and chased.
3. In Pittsburgh they manufacture iron and steal.  (Dan, is that true???)
4. They gave William IV a lovely funeral.  It took six men to carry the beer.  (Seems like “Dilly, dilly” should be the response.)
5. To celebrate at feasts, the inhabitants of old England sometimes cut the head off the biggest bore and carried it around on a platter.
6. Carats, 2 for 39 cents.
7. Please leave your umbrella and goulashes here.  (Is that cultural appropriation?)
8. She had a seizure–her third one–and she fell and went unconscious.  She was in a comma and she never woke up.
9. Editors and Proff Readers–Must be good in spelling and grammar.  (We can see why!)
10. Mr. and Mrs. Garth Robinson request the honor of your presents at the marriage of their daughter Holly to Mr. James Stockman.  (That’s why you invite 300 of your closest friends, right?)

Again, all from Anguished English, by Richard Lederer.  Please, if you don’t buy it, at  least check it out (literally as well as figuratively) from the library!

 

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Language abuse: bienapropisms

What on earth is a bienapropism??  Richard Lederer says that “The best malapropisms are those that leap across the chasm of absurdity and land on the side of truth” and dubs them bienapropisms, in the spirit of the French roots.  My interpretation?  Bien (good) + appropriate + malapropism = lots of fun!!  Here are some examples, again from Anguished English.  Read ’em and weep.

1. The cookbook is being compiled.  Please submit your favorite recipe and a short antidote concerning it.
2. We sold our house and moved into one of those pandemoniums.
3. To be a leader, you have to develop a spear de corps.
4. Senators are chosen as committee chairmen on the basis of senility.
5. The hills were worn down by eroticism.
6. Apartheid is a pigment of the imagination.
7. Certainly the pleasures of youth are great, but they are nothing compared to the pleasures of adultery.
8. The defendant pleaded exterminating circumstances.
9. Finally, this one that we’ve used for fun in our family for years:  It’s a fragment of your imagination.

Happy Tuesday!

Language abuse: malapropism

Mrs. Malaprop was a character in 1775 comedy by Richard Sheridan who misused words in a way that created unintentional humor.  From her, we get the word “malapropism”, a particularly enjoyable type of humor.

Malapropism:

: the usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase; especially : the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context

• “Jesus healing those leopards” is an example of malapropism.

One of my favorite books of comedy, Richard Lederer’s Anguished English, has a number of examples, a few of which I’m sharing with you today.  You survived Monday; you deserve some good laughs!  And if you enjoy word play and, as Lederer says in his subtitle, “accidental assaults upon our language”, I urge you to get the book immediately!!  You won’t stop laughing for hours.  But beware.  It’s addictive!

Potty humor

Yesterday I shared a quote by Thomas Jefferson.  Today I’m sharing a thought of my own.  It may not be as deep as the one from TJ, but I feel it’s quite relevant to many of us in ways that it would not have been to him.  What do you think?

Jellyfish

I love the gracefulness and colors of these lights but, as Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell said way back in the 60’s…

“Ain’t nothin’ like the real thing, baby!”

Playing

I was all set to do Thursday Doors, before I recalled that doors are closed for another week.  So I decided to play a bit with a shot taken in the Southwest Airlines portion of the Philadelphia airport.  I like the bright, airy feeling of the display and a little editing fun gave it a Japanese woodcut feel.  Happy Thursday!

Tuesday tweets

I’ve mentioned this bush outside our house in a previous post, likening it to an avian Starbucks where birds gather to spend time with their friends. Usually they perch on top as they chat, but in this video, although they’re shy, they’re definitely not quiet! They’re  online, using Twitter extensively.  Not sure they meet the character quota, though, and hopefully they’re not stealing our internet!!  :-)​

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