These days, headlines tend to be found online, but there was a time when they were at the beginning of every newspaper article. The objective, of course, was to interest a potential reader as well as give a very, very short idea of what the article was about. Once again, Richard Lederer has found some of the most hilarious for readers of Anguished English. Let me share just a few. As some of you may remember, headlines were always in capital letters and it didn’t mean shouting.
FLAMING TOILET SEAT CAUSES EVACUATION AT HIGH SCHOOL
TWO CONVICTS EVADE NOOSE: JURY HUNG
DEAF MUTE GETS NEW HEARING IN KILLING
COMPLAINTS ABOUT NBA OFFICIALS GROWING UGLY
S. FLORIDA ILLEGAL ALIENS CUT IN HALF BY NEW LAW
SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS
IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS
HERSHEY BARS PROTEST
TRAFFIC DEAD RISE SLOWLY
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
GRANDMOTHER OF EIGHT MAKES HOLE IN ONE
This, that and the other thing 