Language abuse…very mixed metaphors

A metaphor is a direct comparison, such as the second line of the poem, The Highwayman, by Alfred Noyes: “The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas.”  If he’d said “The moon was like a ghostly galleon”, it would have been a simile.

Metaphors are quite useful, but when they get mixed, things get a bit, well, mixed up!  Just take a look at these gems, courtesy of Anguished English.

The sacred cows have come home to roost with a vengeance.  (I hope they have a very sturdy perch and please do NOT stand underneath it!!)

The slowdown  is accelerating.

The Sword of Damocles is hanging over Pandora’s Box.

Let dead dogs sleep.

She was a diva of such immense talent that, after hearing her perform, there was seldom a dry seat in the house.   (I can’t really comment on that one.)

Let’s hope Steve Carleton gets his curve ball straightened out.  (Perhaps Yogi was catching for this one.)

It’s difficult living in a bowl of fish.  (Unless of course you’re a fish.)

That guy’s out to butter his own nest. (Slick!)

I’m sticking my neck out on a limb.  (Ouch!!)

He was a very astute politician with both ears glued to the ground.  (Ouch again!)

The banker’s pockets are bulging with the sweat of the honest working man. (Yuk!)

Richard Lederer (again in Anguished English) points out that even Ian Fleming mixed a cocktail of metaphors at least once (shaken, though, not stirred) when he wrote: “Bond’s knees, the Achilles heel of all skiers, were beginning to ache.”  So if you happen to mangle a metaphor or three (or would that make it a meta-four?), you’re in good company.

Slubberdegullion…words for superior people

We’re taking a break from Anguished English and language abuse to enjoy some words from The Superior Person’s Book of Words by Peter Bowler.  The word in the title, slubberdegullion, is “A glorious seventeenth-century term of contempt (found in Hudibras), apparently meaning a dirty, wretched slob.  What’s not to like about that?  🙂

Let’s see what else we can find.  All definitions are quotes from the book.

Nidificate v.   To build a nest.  You settle down in the quietness of the theater to enjoy the opening dream sequence of Wild Strawberries.  From the seat in front of you comes an insistent crackling and rustling of candy wrappings.  “Usher!” you call out in a loud voice, “I think the woman in front of me is nidificating in her seat!

Limaceous a.  Sluglike, having to do with slugs.  “Keep our hands to yourself, you limaceous endomorph!”

Language abuse: bienapropisms

What on earth is a bienapropism??  Richard Lederer says that “The best malapropisms are those that leap across the chasm of absurdity and land on the side of truth” and dubs them bienapropisms, in the spirit of the French roots.  My interpretation?  Bien (good) + appropriate + malapropism = lots of fun!!  Here are some examples, again from Anguished English.  Read ’em and weep.

1. The cookbook is being compiled.  Please submit your favorite recipe and a short antidote concerning it.
2. We sold our house and moved into one of those pandemoniums.
3. To be a leader, you have to develop a spear de corps.
4. Senators are chosen as committee chairmen on the basis of senility.
5. The hills were worn down by eroticism.
6. Apartheid is a pigment of the imagination.
7. Certainly the pleasures of youth are great, but they are nothing compared to the pleasures of adultery.
8. The defendant pleaded exterminating circumstances.
9. Finally, this one that we’ve used for fun in our family for years:  It’s a fragment of your imagination.

Happy Tuesday!