Posts Tagged ‘weird’

I’m always seeing things that make me laugh or hearing things that don’t come out correctly or just stuff that’s weird and not as I’d expect it to be. Don’t give me any scientific explanations for any of it, either. It ruins the fun.

In no particular order….

When I’m at a restaurant and a waiter/waitress/waitperson/server comes up, they’ll often say, “If you need me, my name is (fill in the blank).” OK, what’s your name if I don’t need you? Sorry, but it’s a struggle for me every time someone says this not take ask them that follow-up question. I don’t, but I’d really, really like to.

Why do pancake recipes tell you to only turn the pancakes once? What horrible thing could possibly happen if you turned them a third time? What about 4 or 5 times? I’ll be brutally honest (and you don’t even have to bring out the comfy chair)….I have turned pancakes more than one and occasionally maybe even four times. Does that make me a bad person? What did it do to the person who ate the pancake so terribly abused? Please don’t tell anyone.

Why is it that leftover pancake batter, like diamonds, is forever? I can fill the empty bowl with water and let it sit all day. When I pour the water out, the leftover mix is still at the bottom, seemingly just as it was hours earlier. Even if I carefully wipe everything, then wash thoroughly, there always seems to be some pasted-on, dried-up batter somewhere, hanging on, like a barnacle on the bottom of boat, for dear life. I guess that’s why you can make paste with flour. Makes me wonder what my insides look like? Guess all those enzymes and things in there are pretty tough!!

Why should anyone selling coffee or any coffee-related beverage, tea or hot (remember the “hot” part) chocolate (excluding all designer drinks that have any of these in them but are made cold), have to put cautions on the cups or elsewhere warning people that the beverage is hot? (Do NOT give me the legal reasons. Just don’t.) You wanted a hot beverage; you paid for a hot beverage; you’re annoyed if your hot beverage isn’t hot. Why wouldn’t you expect it to be hot and behave accordingly? Now if you ordered iced tea and it was hot, you’d have something about which to complain.

Our mailman isn’t male. I guess that makes her a mailwoman, but not a male woman. Mailperson not male person. And no one, male or female, wants to be a garbageperson.

Have you ever thought about how many brain cells are occupied with words from songs from your past? I can hear something from the 60’s or 70’s and often chime right in without realizing I even know so many of the words! Some of the songs were shorter but still. For instance, I know all the words to “Secret Agent Man”, “Red Rubber Ball” and “Happy Together”, but I also know “Bye, bye Miss American Pie” and “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant”, plus lots and lots of things…including much of “Smoke on the Water”. Anyone for a rousing round of “Inagaddadavida”? Would I be a brain surgeon (maybe on my own brain) or a rocket scientists if I had all those cells otherwise occupied? But if the latter, then I couldn’t say “It isn’t rocket science”, because it would be.

Having done and proofed bulletins and newsletters as well as having been part of a committee to re-work the constitution of our church, I’ve always wondered at the plethora of extraneous capital letters that abound in church missives. “We will meet in the Narthex of the Church. The Pastor will lead the Congregation in singing from the Song Book. Please remember that Dogs are not allowed in Church any day of the Week, unless they are Service Dogs.” (Sorry about the pun.)

Did you ever think about the fact that a fiend is only one letter removed from a friend? Literally one letter removed. Makes you think.