The weekly gathering of the Fictioneers has commenced. Bring out the halt, the lame, the blind, the murderers and aliens, vampires and vamps. Look carefully and you might see a human or two. Take them all, stir thoroughly, add a dollop of disbelief, a soupçon of silliness. Dip a spoon into the resulting slumgullion: each recipe meticulously prepared, marvelously rendered, tasty to the tongue. Your personal recipe is solicited or feel free to simply feast and go away replete; perhaps not always uplifted, but with your brain stimulated.
Thanks to our fearless leader, Rochelle Wisoff-Fields, and this week’s photographer, David Stewart.
Copyright David Stewart
Exist-tense
Dreary, grey, distorted.
Everything out of kilter, as if I’m in a foreign country.
Can’t interpret the signs around me anymore.
A statue frozen in an empty plaza, surrounded by a city. Living people move along the periphery,
no one willing to come near.
Torn apart. Fragmented.
Reaching, stretching. No one takes my hand.
Crying out. No response.
Can’t anyone hear me? I’m right here. Why won’t you see me? Don’t you know that I exist?
Perhaps…
Perhaps I don’t exist.
Perhaps I’m simply trapped. Forever a statue. Living but ignored.
Acknowledge me. I need that to give me life.
This, that and the other thing 
I like both very much – thanks for sharing :o)
Always my pleasure. I enjoy “seeing” you every day. Perhaps one day, we’ll meet in France. 🙂
great – maybe with a very good camembeert ;o)
And some wonderful wine, of course! (And doggie treats.) 🙂
damn him, if only he knows, he’s more than “acknowledged” 90 something writers are going crazy trying to write stories about him.lol ^^ this was very well written as always and it’s such a pleasure to read your introduction — had me smiling from ear to ear 🙂
Good point Kz.
Desperate situation, Janet.
Yes, intervention is definitely needed. Thanks for reading and commenting, Abraham, as well as for catching up on some of my other posts. I appreciate that! I can’t wait to read some stories myself later today.
kz, I very much appreciate both those comments. I decided lately to have fun with the intro as well. I look forward to reading yours but breakfast and errands before pleasure.
Enjoy your day!
janet
no worries, and happy valentines day 🙂
Same to you. Glad I didn’t post this downer story on V-Day!! 🙂
Thanks, kz. Maybe I’ll hire out to do introductions and quit writing stories entirely. 🙂
janet
That sounds like a nighmarish situation to be in, to exist and be aware but forever ignored. You did a great job with it, and even your introduction to the Fictioneers at the top! That’s deserving of a story all it’s own. I feel like I’ve read a double-feature. 🙂
It’s a dark tribute to your picture, David, but I’m glad you liked it (both parts.)
janet
I think therefore i am. Nicely done.
Or others validate me, therefore I am. Either way, I’m glad you liked it.
janet
Yes, got that 🙂
Better to believe in oneself than in others. Try to tell my students that everyday!
You’re exactly right, but students, being young, can have a difficult time believing in something that is for them, still so tenuous and so often they don’t really know what their selves are or only see them as reflected by others opinions of them. Aren’t you glad not to be that young anymore??!! 🙂
Yep! … So I ask them, “we’ll, what do YOU think?” Not what your friends think, but YOU. I find it weird that so many kids have such high opinions about their peers’ lives, and not much about theirs. I try to find ways to help them balance their ‘need to belong’ with loving themselves. And to understand that these go hand in hand.
Good for you. I tried to do that when I was teaching, whether at the high school or home schooling our girls. What’s sad, too, is that so often the lives they want to emulate are nothing worth emulating! One thing I learned by not being part of an “in” group in high school was to feel comfortable with myself and by myself, so I’m rarely lonely and even though I value the opinions and friendships of others, I don’t depend on them to an unhealthy degree (at least usually. 🙂
True. And adults really can rarely get through. Hoping to get a good group of students (who are worth emulating) to start some sort of peer discussion series. Or even a peer mentoring series. Who knows…
Doomed! Very nice build up, really carefully crafted. I like the care and attention taken to format..
Something about this picture just screamed depression to me. The formatting of this sort of thing on WordPress is a bear so I’m especially pleased that you mentioned it. It took forever!
janet
This is Brilliant! My favorite so far.
When I saw this prompt this was my first thought I didn’t go with it but I am glad to read someone that did. I liked this.
I hope it lived up to your expectations.
I didn’t go far with it it was only a notion. You did wonderfully and I hope I might have done as well if I had gone that way. i really liked this.
Great mood piece with a touch of the supernatural to give it “life”. Creative take and well done.
Thanks, vb. Not sure if it’s supernatural or how the narrator feels, but that’s up to the reader.
Dear Janet,
I acknowledge you. This prompt is drear and gray, isn’t it. Reminds me of the two times I was in Korea. You nailed the story and you had the perfect recipe for an introduction.
Aloha,
Doug
You acknowledge me; therefore my story exists. 🙂 Hope your existence isn’t tense today and lovely to have you pop over to the mainland.
janet
Loved your intro. Your poem was just… sad. Thank you for the reminder to notice.
What a good thing to take away from what I wrote! I did want to remind people that there really are people around them who need some attention and to whom that attention will mean so much. The piece was meant to be sad, so that’s good. I’m pleased you enjoyed the intro, though, in the sense of enjoyable.
janet
Dear Janet,
What a terrible place to be. Your piece is a magnificent, yet horribly accurate, description of clinical depression. Wonderful writing as always.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thanks, Rochelle. Thankfully I’m not there but everyone, I think, has had a bad time or two that would lead to this feeling if left unchecked, un-helped or unrecognized. Maybe this will nudge us all to say that word or two to someone with whom no one else speaks. If so, it was worth writing.
janet
This photo does bring out those feelings! I love how you showed the desperate isolation, to the point of feeling trapped. Beautifully written and so true.
Thank you, Sheila. I’m afraid it’s true for more people than we may realize.
janet
This one makes my hair stand on end! Such a good expression of the feeling of being lost and ignored. I wonder how many statues we pass every day without noticing the person inside?
Then my story did its work, Sharon. Happy Valentine’s Day!
janet
I like the way you describe the Fictioneer’s. Very nice.
Thanks, Tad. They’re a wonderful group and participation is extremely addictive!
Happy Valentine’s Day,
janet
The first two paragraphs reminded me about the throes of depression, that sense of grey detachment. This is beautifully done, Janet.
Thanks for letting me know I managed to achieve what I hoped to do. From you I take that as a high compliment.
Happy Valentine’s Day,
janet
The title is just beautiful. A perfect reflection of the angst-ridden story. You made me feel claustrophobic!
I appreciate you noticing the title, Iris. I try hard to make the title work as hard as the story. And claustrophobic is what I was striving to portray. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. May your Valentine’s Day be filled with much acknowledgement!!
janet
The statue does seem to reach out to you.
very nice angle.
I guess all landmark statues in busy cities could join this cry.
And I absolutely loved your introduction! The potion you whipped seemed quite delectable! 🙂
Thanks, Parul. Be sure to take a bowl with you.
I might take more than that. But I am sure there will still be enough for all of us. 🙂
It’s an unending pot, so help yourself!
Good verse; good name.
Forgot
Mine: http://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/3734/
Scott
Been there, read that. 🙂 I just go through the inlikz. Thanks for stopping by and reading.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
janet
🙂
Here’s the perfect antidote for my story (and also appropriate for Valentine’s Day)…from David Frum…(or from Frum)…
“I’ve never liked the Valentine’s Day holiday. Our culture celebrates romantic love morning, noon, and night 364 days a year – and then sets aside one special day every February to really rub the lovelesses’ noses in it. Not so nice. So: if you are lucky enough to have a sweetheart, of course you must kiss her (or him) today. But if you want to do a good deed, give a thought to the many lonely people around you: the divorced, the widowed, the unlucky – and maybe, if you have a spare dollar or two, you might want to send a small anonymous bouquet to one of them. Oh — and send it to the office, where everybody can see. “
Excellent. Enjoyed reading.
Thanks. I’m just reading yours right now. 🙂
🙂
Very original! Brings an other-worldly feel to the gray realism and intrigue of the photo.
Thank you, Jan.
Brilliant:)
I gladdens my heart to read this.
janet
Wow. I like your intro a lot this week, too. I love your title! I love all of your word choices . . . I can relate all too well to the sentiment, so it hits close to home.
Thanks, Angel. I hope it’s not too close to home and that it’s also in the past.
Blessings on your day,
janet
Ah I think we all feel like a statue sometimes, ignored. Really well done Janet. 🙂
Much appreciated, Jackie.
Excellent story, Janet. I really enjoyed this; it’s powerfully told.
Coming from a writer such as yourself (or yourselves?), the compliment is doubly appreciated.
janet
Wow . . . thanks 🙂 🙂
This is brilliant! Thank you, and, yes, we all feel this way sometimes.
Here’s mine: http://unexpectedpaths.com/friday-fictioneers/suzuki-method/
Glad you liked it, Maggie. See you a bit later today. In the meantime, have a wonderful day.
janet
On one hand it is nice to be seen , on the other hand isolation is a gift..To teach others to recognize those in need of acknowledgment is not easy nor is it easy to teach people that it is OK to be alone. Very well done. Thought provoking..Love yourself and it spreads outward from there…
Tom
The white font gray background works on a level I find hard to explain…..
Tom
Maybe because the piece was gray. WordPress doesn’t give me a choice. To format the way I want to do, I have to use “preformatted”, which puts the gray background in. But I thought it worked for this story.
It worked very well. I like this side of you…
My darker, not so always-optimistic side or my poetic side? (Or the side that uses the grey background?) 🙂
janet
The poetic side…silly!
🙂 If you feel so inclined, I have some poetry from my distant youth under the “poetry” category on the left of my page. Feel free to read.
Hope your weekend’s off to a great start (and stays that way!)
janet
I will check them out…getting a bit of a chest cold but outside that I am good to go….I hope you have a good weekend as well.
Tom
It’s cold but sunny here, which is a good start. Take care of yourself and get rid of that cold ASAP!
janet
Thanks, Tom. You’re right. Getting the balance of alone time and time with others is difficult. I think you’re right about loving yourself first but sometimes making the effort to reach out to someone more isolated or lonely than yourself can help get you out of your shell.
Appreciate your thoughtful comments.
janet
All truth there and so little fiction…
A fine take on the prompt 🙂
I’m pleased you think so.
janet
Now I’m going to have to go round acknowledging all the statues I ‘meet’ – just in case 😀
Now you’ve got it! 🙂
I loved the way you used the gray box to frame your story. The story made me think of Lot’s wife turning to a pillar of salt. Watch out for those pesky pigeons.
The grey box worked really well for this but WordPress leaves me no choice, so it was fortunate. As for pigeons, pillars or statues of any sort must watch out for them!!
This poetry about being trapped is such a scary metaphor for something else… I shiver. Well done,
Thanks, Bjorn. I always appreciate your comments.
janet
I liked the poem, but I loved the way you introduced the fictioneers challenge 🙂
Thanks. Maybe I should try to write my opening as the 100-words next week. I guess it would depend on the picture!
janet
Oh, that would be fun Janet!
It actually could be. Once I wrote that to you, I thought that it might work well. Who knows? Stay tuned.
Very difficult human thoughts given to a statue. I like what I imagine to be the universality of the feelings. Great job.
Thanks. I wrote it more as a human trapped inside him/herself because of feeling lonely and unnoticed, using the statue as a metaphor for that, and experiencing loneliness and depression. But I’m glad you enjoyed it either way.
janet
Yes I can certainly see that. I looked at it the other way around as a statue actually trapped as a statue longing to be human. I guess that’s what makes the story great – it’s versatility. I really did enjoy it. Thanks, Janet.
Very neatly done, cleverly crafted.
this line: “Living people move along the periphery, ” i know that periphery is a perfectly accurate word, but it feels kind of technical compared to the rest. consider using “edge” instead. it’s rougher, more direct and sharp.
just a suggestion.
Good morning, Rich. I just re-read my story several times, using “edge”, then “periphery.” I like “edge” a lot, but “periphery” has a feeling to me of a large circle some ways in the distance with nothing between the edge of the circle and the person in the middle, which is a bit more the feeling I was trying to convey. Thanks for the suggestion and for taking the time to read in-depth enough to offer it!
Hope you’re getting some sunshine in NJ this morning,
janet
snow flurries here but thanks for the wishes. yes, i agree, periphery has a feeling of being outside of something, either not allowed in or not yet ready to go in. i see what you mean.
i love everything about your interpretation on this photo. the statue really seems to scream what you describe…reaching, stretching but finding nothing. inspiring.
Thanks, Sunshine. Your relative is shining through my windows this morning and I’m thankful for that. I’m happy you liked my story. Have a wonderful weekend.
janet
hiihii!! glad you got sunbeams streaming in and warming up your place and heart. 🙂
weekends can only be wonderful. much love! ♥
Very good story. Every day we pass people who are trapped. We’re so busy in our lives. Sometimes we just need to stop, listen and reach out.
I can imagine real people feeling like this every day. All alone yet very noticeable in the public’s eye. Such are the struggles of people with various mental issues. A nice take and description.
Good morning, Joe. Glad you stopped by. I think it’s not just people with mental issues who feel this way but people with low self-esteem and, at times, many of us, although hopefully not for long. This was about real people and I’m happy that came across.
Have a lovely Sunday,
janet
A fantastic take on this week’s prompt! I love this piece!
Thanks, Sandra. I really appreciate that and you taking the time to stop by on the weekend to read and comment!
janet