I’m pretty sure that according to this week’s prompt, we’re all toasting marshmallows (yes, they’re giant-sized) to make s’mores (dark chocolate on mine, please) for Rochelle’s birthday tomorrow. But just in case I’m wrong (or even if I’m right), I’ve included a story, a haibun this week, for Friday Fictioneers, a confection created from 100 words and mixed each week with other such confections that can be accessed by clicking on the little blue critter at the bottom of the post. Beware! Some of these confections might be tricks, rather than treats. Some will be sweet, others might be sickening. But you won’t know which is which until you click and read.
So happy birthday, Rochelle. Thanks for hostessing this diverse group of confectioners and may your birthday be a sweet one.
The first leaf fell today, lacking even grace of color, to lie quiescent on the sidewalk ‘til wind-blown travel claimed it. Soon millions more will throw themselves to willing death, flaming brightly before reduced to crackling beneath feet in futile protest. Days grow shorter, nights stretch longer, nights where passion once flamed brightly, now passing also into death, unwilling on my part, kamikaze-like on yours. The fire that now burns devours all the love and leaves not even embers that soft breath could coax back to life. Autumn's harbingers Lie dying before my eyes Love once green now dead
crackling beneath feet in silent protest.
if it’s “crackling,” then is it really silent?
Good catch, Rich. I’ve changed it. Thanks.
janet
now passing also into death,
“also” does it mean that is has also passed somewhere else?
i’m wondering what “also” adds to the line. i think i’m mis-reading something.
or did this leaf pass into deal in addition to the other leaf, and that’s why the “also”?
“Also” is for the passion that is dying and since the leaves are dying to, the “also” ties the two deaths together. Make sense now? Thanks for the feedback as always.
that’s what i thought, but:
where passion once flamed brightly,
now passing also into death,
because you said “where passion once flamed” i feel it covers what “also” would give, so i don’t think you need also. if you didn’t have “now” then you would need “also.”
That parallel between the dying leaves and the love that leaves (!) is so well expressed.. still only by dying rebirth can come.. This is a very good haibun I think.. It made me glad to read (though the subject is tough)
From you, I especially appreciate those comments, Bjorn. I don’t know that this love will be reborn but thankfully the leaves will be.
janet
Janet you write haibun so well, I never seem to get the hang of it. Sad to think of love dying like the leaves, but very well expressed.
Dee
Thanks, Dee, but I’m still a novice at the art of haibun. Working at it, though, and I’m so pleased that you like it.
janet
An elegy to summer. Wonderful, Janet! This is something my mom would appreciate since she’s big into nature.
Feel free to share it with here, Kent. 🙂
janet
I certainly will.
I know nothing about poetry but I thought this was really beautiful.
That’s all you need to know…does it work for you. I’m so glad. Haibun is simply a story, either in prose or poetry, with a haiku at the end. I’m a novice yet, but enjoying the learning process.
janet
Not seen (i.e. read) you for a while. Is this the beginning of an end to Wordless Wednesdays?
Ahh, Paul, thanks for missing me. We were blessed to be able to take several vacations this year, all of which came within about a month-and-a-half time frame. Keeping up with the blog was enough computer time for me. I regret that Wordless Wednesday comes on the same day as Friday Fictioneers (an oddity, if you think about it at all), but I think I’ll be writing again for some time. Hope you enjoyed Wordless Wednesdays, though. I’m always striving to find the balance among writing, photography and any combination of the two.
janet
unwilling on my part,
kamikaze-like on yours. Love this – it says so much! Thanks for the explanation of Haibun. Several FF writers have been using it lately. Delightful piece this week.
Glad you liked it, Alicia. Bjorn and Hamish are both very good at haibun and the ones that introduced me to the form. I’ve still a long way to go, but it’s fun on the way.
janet
A beautiful poem with a strong metaphore. Haibun is something I have yet to try.
I haven’t done much yet, but I enjoy it as I do haiku. So pleased you liked it.
janet
this was gorgeous Janet… so beautifully expressed! 🙂
Thanks, K.Z. Much appreciated!
janet
i guess it’s nature’s way. leaves have to fall and die so others can take their place.
It is. Sometimes it’s the way of relationships as well.
janet
Very emotional … nicely done. … I second K.Z. comment “so beautifully expressed!”
Then thank you very much as well, Mike!
janet
I don’t know great art (or Haibun), but I know what I like, and I liked the expressive feel of this. Well done. 🙂
I’m glad you liked it, great or not. 🙂 Greatness is in the eye of the beholder/reader anyway as I remember each time I view some modern “art.”
janet
Dear Janet,
Life cycle beautifully expressed and the dried feeling of lost love and loneliness. Lovely and sad.
Thank you for the birthday greetings. It’s going to be a good one. 😉 Although Jan will have to eat the dark chocolate for me.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I happy you enjoyed the haibun, Rochelle. I know you’ll have a good birthday day today, dark chocolate or not. 🙂 May you be blessed with many more.
janet
What started as an ode to summer became something much more personal as the poem progressed, Janet. I enjoyed that and the way you coaxed your readers to just the place you wanted us.
Thanks for the birthday heads-up too, I’m off to send some wishes of my own!
Thanks for reading, Jen, and for the nice comments. Today’s the birthday day, so you’re not even late there.
janet
Very evocative imagery here Janet. Well done 🙂
Thanks a lot, Pat. Hope you’re having a great day.
janet
Janet, this is beautiful! So sad and yet so beautifully written. I’m glad it’s fiction!
Me, too, Dawn. I’m happy you liked it.
janet
It’s lovely. You’re expressing what I feel. Wish I wrote it.
Lily
Lily, that’s a compliment every writer likes. Thanks very much.
janet
Dear Janet, This is so absolutely beautiful – I love every line and it has so much sadness in it that only Spring will make it right. Good job – excellent! Nan 🙂
Thanks so much, Nan. Spring will make the leaves right but it may be too late for the relationship. Or maybe not. Thanks for the visit and have a marvelous weekend.
janet
This is beautiful! Such wonderful imagery.
Thanks! I appreciate it and that you took the time to read and comment. Enjoy the weekend.
janet
Janet, I also know what I like, and I thought it was lovely–sad but lovely. I miss the fall season. It doesn’t exist here. Well written. 🙂 —Susan
Thanks so much, Susan. Fall is just poking its head out a tiny, tiny bit here (a few leaves down, some fall colors). I’m going to enjoy the rest of summer while knowing that I’ll enjoy fall as well.
janet
I loved the anology of the dying love. Perhaps with spring a new love will also blossom.
There’s (almost) always hope, Russ. Thanks for stopping by and say hello to your lovely wife.
janet
So sad. Definitely not the right kind of love for me.
Alice, it’s not the kind of love for anyone. No one wants their love to die, but it happens sometimes. Hopefully you’ll never experience it except through other people’s writing. And just so you know, this is fiction for me as well. 🙂 Enjoy the weekend.
janet
I really enjoyed this halibun structure, although I’m not that familiar with it. This was quite beautiful, Janet.
Thanks very much, Amy. I’m enjoying trying it every so often and it just seemed to fit with this prompt.
I don’t quite understand hailbun but I enjoyed reading this. It felt romantic to me.
Well, that teaches me a new word! And autumn as a metaphor for death and death of love is something I well understand. Very movingly expressed, Janet.
Thanks very much, Perry. I hope you’re enjoying your weekend.
janet
‘Soft breath could coax..’ Oh, nice line! Nice line! Brilliant!
Thanks so much, Kingsley! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Hope you’re having a great weekend.
janet
Janet! Your heart is in poetry – surely. I am quite amazed to be honest, and find this a whole new level of writing. I think the matching of haiku and verse here just works wonderfully. Dare I call it a haibun..not sure, I think you turned it into a more exciting genre like this. And really, so powerful, tragic. As I started – for me it is a whole new level to see this. I think you might find this challenge nice, http://magpietales.blogspot.fi/ and of course there is dverse, where Bjorn ‘tends the bar,’ a fabulous challenge.
Thanks for the link, Hamish. I’ll check it out. So pleased you liked my verse, whether haibun or not. 🙂
janet
This is so lovely, Janet. Melancholy, but lovely. Well done!
Thanks, Lisa, and thanks for stopping by.
beautiful flow that captivates the imagination on the coming new season. the haiku, lovely.
Thanks very much, Sun. I appreciate you coming by and reading.
janet
Hi Janet,
A treat to see you on dVerse — and a lovely metaphorical haibun for your initial offering. Look forward to reading more of your poetry.
Thanks so much, vb. dVerse is a great group of poets and people.
janet
The fire that now burns
devours all the love
and leaves not even embers
that soft breath could coax back to life… that is a wonderful stanza! beautiful write and I’m very excited that my fav season is here… smiles
Thanks for stopping. I barely made it in this time, so I appreciate you reading. Glad you liked it. I enjoy autumn, too.
janet
A very well-executed metaphor, with vivid appeals to the senses. Thanks. k.
Thanks for getting over to read when I posted so late. I’m happy you enjoyed the haibun.
janet
smiles… nice to see you at dVerse… and sorry that i’m so late… just back from driving my daughter to trier where she will go to university – helped her settle into the new place and stuff…smiles
i love autumn on one hand – all the colors – but then the fall as well – reminds us that nothing lasts forever and that gives me shivers a bit sometimes
Hope you had a good trip, Claudia. What is your daughter studying? I like fall, but then I like all the seasons. Thanks for taking the time to visit. I enjoyed your entry, too.
janet
How sad to realize love that’s dead, your choice of metaphor captures it well.
I agree that it’s sad, Ginny. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
janet
Hey Janet–I think this is the same link that was posted–it’s a lovely poem, thanks.
Bjorn was nice enough to get rid of the incorrect link and I did have the correct one up, too. Thanks for checking. 🙂