Storm–a haiku with alternate endings

Posted: January 30, 2013 in Nature, Photos, Poetry
Tags: haiku, Nature, nature poetry, poetry, rain, storm

Lightning slashes clouds
Grey skies hemorrhage water
Lights blossom in homes

…………………

Birds ruffle feathers

………………..

Dinner is cooking

…………………

I curl in a chair

…………………

Music on the roof

Comments

dmmacilroy says:

January 30, 2013 at 2:19 am

Hi Janet,

Is that your house? Nice Haiku.

Aloha,

Doug
- sustainabilitea says:
  
  January 30, 2013 at 8:30 am
  
  It’s the house next door, but very like our rental house. Glad you liked the haiku and that you dropped in.
  
  Have a wonderful day,
  
  janet
rich says:

January 30, 2013 at 8:36 am

i like the music ending. it turns a negative into a positive.
silentlyheardonce says:

January 30, 2013 at 12:29 pm

Very visual especially since it’s raining here.
- sustainabilitea says:
  
  January 30, 2013 at 3:12 pm
  
  Here, too, and doesn’t look like it will stop any time soon, although if it gets cold enough, it may turn to snow.
  - silentlyheardonce says:
    
    January 30, 2013 at 4:48 pm
    
    They are promising some by Saturday.
  - sustainabilitea says:
    
    January 30, 2013 at 4:49 pm
    
    We had a few moments of snow, now back to rain. Some snow in the forecast but hopefully not bad, since I have to drive for six hours.
kindredspirit23 says:

January 30, 2013 at 1:45 pm

I like the original the best.
Scott
Björn Rudberg (brudberg) says:

January 30, 2013 at 4:53 pm

I like the dinner cooking best. It has a nice element of break of thought between the second and third lines. The original is nice, but I try to avoid alliteration in haiku (just like rhymes).
Hannah (BitterSweet) says:

January 30, 2013 at 9:55 pm

I truly respect anyone who can create such harmony with so few words. The ways of the haiku have always eluded me… But this is inspiring!