Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Yesterday was our 33rd anniversary, which is why I was absent from the online world.  .  As my husband’s favorite food in the world might be watermelon, I thought I’d honor him by sharing a few things I’ve learned about watermelon since indulging him in this low-calorie, good-for-you treat as often as possible.  🙂

  1. Seedless watermelon aren’t, so don’t be taken aback or angry when you cut open that seedless melon, only to find little translucent “seeds”, really the coatings of seeds that haven’t matured.  They can’t mature and they can’t reproduce, so don’t plan on planting any to get your next year’s melons. *
  2. In China, watermelon consumers like to either eat the seeds from regular watermelon or toast them, while Americans tend to spit them out…or avoid them by buying “seedless” melons.
  3. No matter what you read about how to pick the right watermelon (tap them, look for a yellow patch, etc.), there’s no guarantee!  Just take your chances and enjoy.
  4. The best time to cut a watermelon is the day you’re going to put your garbage out for pick-up, unless you mulch, in which case you may feel free to cut one whenever you darn well please!  All those rinds are heavy, too!
  5. Watermelon rinds are great for putting on top of your shredded, private information.  Our recycling requires shredded material to be bagged which, to me, defeats the purpose, even though no one is likely to be able to reassemble our shreddings.  But put watermelon rinds or other wet food garbage on top and if anyone wants to try to steal information from that bag, have at it and good luck.
  6. I can see why someone invented watermelon rind pickles.  She probably got tired of throwing out all those rinds.
  7. The water part of watermelon isn’t just there for fun.  Once cut, the melon will lose, well, red water.  To keep the pieces lasting longer, drain that off every day…if the melon lasts that long.
  8. Watermelon, although about 92% water, is distressingly good for you.  (Don’t stop eating it, though!!)  It has significant levels of vitamins A, B6 and C, lots of lycopene, antioxidants and amino acids, and a bit of potassium. It’s also is fat-free, and low in sodium and calories (40 calories per cup.)
  9. If turned into a math formula: my husband’s ability to eat watermelon >>>>>the space in the fridge for the cut melon.  (That’s a greater-than sign to the 5th power, BTW.)
  10. Egyptians placed watermelons in the burial tombs of kings to nourish them in the afterlife.  For more fun facts about watermelon, head over to this LiveScience page.
  11. There’s lively debate about whether a watermelon is a fruit or a vegetable.  According to Natural Health ezine:  Most of us automatically assume that a watermelon is a fruit, but technically it is counted as a vegetable (The Oklahoma State Senate passed a bill on 17 April 2007 declaring watermelon as the official state vegetable, with some controversy surrounding whether a watermelon is a fruit.). It is related to the cucumber, squash and pumpkin plants. The watermelon is classified as Citrullus Lanatu. Regardless of whether the watermelon is a fruit or vegetable, it is known to be very healthy.
  12. The heaviest watermelon weighed 268.8 lbs./121.93 kg (I wouldn’t want to pay by the pound for that one).  My watermelon-loving spouse says that would be big enough to make a casket and that’s how he’d like to be buried.  He adds that would be a green burial in both senses of the word.  I’m not sure what I can add after that, so I guess that makes this the end of my post!  🙂

*But wait, there’s just a bit more.  For anyone interested in how you can grow seedless watermelon if the seeds really aren’t seeds, here’s an explanation from a horticultural newsletter.

The obvious question asked about growing seedless watermelons is: “How does one obtain seed of a seedless watermelon?” Obviously, you cannot save seed from a seedless watermelon. So, where do the seeds come from? Simply stated, the number of chromosomes (the threadlike bodies within cells that contain the inheritance units called genes) in a normal watermelon plant is doubled by the use of the chemical colchicine. Doubling a normal (diploid) watermelon results in a tetraploid plant (one having four sets of chromosomes). When the tetraploid plant is bred back, or pollinated, by a diploid or normal plant, the resulting seed produces a triploid plant that is basically a “mule” of the plant kingdom, and it produces seedless watermelons. Seed of seedless varieties are available from most major seed companies.

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Or (what my mind thought): trunk-ated. 🙂

© janet m. webb

For Wednesday’s Photo Challenge, I mentioned a funny story about the photo of a church.  My s-i-l was driving my husband and me around the roads of rural France, seeing sights and generally having fun.  We were walking through a small village, when my s-i-l said, “Look. This is the first Lutheran church in  France!”

As we’re Lutheran, of course we thought we should go in and see it (besides the fact that it was very old.)  But the door was locked and there were no people to be seen anywhere.  After walking around the outside, we headed for the car.  Suddenly a man came out from the building across the street and asked if we wanted to see the church.  He took us into the entryway and told us that the key was hidden behind a painting.  He moved the painting to the side, gave us the key, and asked us to put the key back when we were done!  His kindness and trust had us smiling and shaking our heads.

The unusual thing about this church was the wood-burning stove partway down on the left side.  I can imagine that side of the church had the most parishioners sitting there in winter!!

© janet m. webb 2014

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You do?

Posted: February 25, 2017 in Humor, Just for fun, Miscellaneous
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© janet m. webb 2017

Just back from a weekend in Philadelphia and, today, an almost-thirteen hour drive home and I need a post.  We enjoyed time with our younger daughter, amazingly warm weather, explored Valley Forge (yes, you’ll get to come, too), and I stocked up on door photos for Thursday Doors while getting far behind on other posts.  I’ll start over tomorrow. I was also happy that so many of you enjoyed my Marge Simpson post.  In that same spirit, I decided to go with the following shot from Rim Cafe, home of the most amazing hot chocolate drinks.  Hence, the sign.  🙂

© janet m. webb 2017

It’s not a burger, it’s a cake. 🙂

copyright janet m. webb 2017

Amazing Saturday!

Posted: September 24, 2016 in Humor, Miscellaneous
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I saw a Vermeer in our Chicago suburb! (more…)